Wiseass

SB's BFF (aka my sister Jen) shoots me an email - it's 2015. I am at work (loser), she is at work (loser).

How was the doc? What did she say about your foot? Did she think it was beautiful???

You see, Jennifer thinks my ego is a little too big and so she never misses the opportunity to poke.

Is there anywhere I can go and not be abused?

This morning's email from SB was no better. The first person I jumped online to tell about my cellphone was SB. You know I sleep with this thing under my pillow so as not to miss a call. With my luck, he would have been sitting at his desk in my morning, thinking "Let's wake Maggie up!" So I wanted him to know why there would be no answer and no explanation. I usually leave explanations "I'm in the movies." or "I'm in Mass." so he knows (and Frankie too) why I am not answering the cell phone. Anyway, I send him an email.

My email:
To: SB, Pirate King, USN
Subject: My Cell Phone is Fried

It fell in water. I don't know if it will recover when dried out.

His reply:
To: Maggie, The Ultimate Bed Warmer

Usually not but you’re an exceptional case. May I be so bold as to ask what water? Where? How?
Inquiring minds want to know!

My indignant response:
To: SB, Pirate King, USN

I'm an exceptional case? Do you mean that in a good way? You bold???????? There's a shocka! You can ask, but the answer might be "NUNYA"."