Bloomberg's Tony Capaccio = ASSHAT

The Question:
Q Sir, Tony Capaccio with Bloomberg News. A lot of people are going to wonder why was the U.S. Navy afraid of five small speed boats when the vessels encountered were fairly large and well- equipped. Can you give the public a sense of the potential damage these vessels, these even small vessels could have caused. Did they have any anti-ship missiles on them, for instance, or torpedoes?

The Answer if I were running the press conference:
Maggie: Hey! Jackass! The United States Navy isn't afraid of anyone. Missiles? Torpedoes? Yeah, everyone knows you need those to cause damage. Otherwise you're completely harmless. OK. Anyone not on the short bus want to ask a question?

Fortunately for those involved, VADM Cosgriff was handling things. he was very firm, but far more professional:
ADM. COSGRIFF: Neither anti-ship missiles nor torpedoes, and I wouldn't characterize the posture of the U.S. 5th Fleet as afraid of these ships or these three U.S. ships afraid of these small boats. Our ships were making a normal transit of the Strait of Hormuz. They followed the procedures they've been trained to follow to increase their own readiness in the face of events like this, and as the Iranian behavior continued during this interaction, our ships stepped through there, increased readiness, the pace. And I didn't get the sense from the reports I was receiving that there was a sense of being afraid of these five boats. That said, we take the potential for a small craft to inflict damage against a larger ship seriously, and we would be irresponsible if we didn't.

Hey Capaccio, STFU!