Monday, June 01, 2009

Everyone Is Too Busy To Pay Attention the I am going to whine a little. LOL!

The mornings are hard. When I wake up my hands and feet are numb. I do what they suggest and massage them with cocoa butter - voodoo? I don't know, but I do it - then the pain starts and I pop a pill. Friday a new thing started. Little shocks or tingles. Not painful, just distracting. They worry me because some people on the myeloma sites I visit talk about them being the precursor to real pain. So I try hard not to think about it.

I push myself to walk. This isn't always a good idea. The other morning I pushed too hard and almost fell down the front steps. I was wearing Jen's white sweatshirt and when she saw the smudge on the shoulder she yelled at me. I yelled back "Don't yell at me, I almost fell out of the house!" LOL She was startled, I told her it wasn't that bad.

Anyway, this morning I was sitting in front of the computer. I had just finished with the stupid cocoa butter and taken the pill......when....doesn't my father appear at the front door. I was shocked. I hadn't heard him coming because he had walked down from the cottage. He was up there waiting for the cable guy and there's no phone, so he came down to have me make a call. I couldn't stand up without looking like there was a, I just sat there. He was looking at me funny because I wasn't standing up and coming to the door. But I didn't know what to say. So I said nothing.

Then he left and I sat there and cried.

So anyway, I just had to vent. I know SB and Jen are too busy this week to read the blog. By the time they look again this post will be buried in all my Midway, Charlestown Navy Yard, USS Constitution, USS Cassin Young stuff. They have 2 Midway vets who are scheduled to be there. Imagine that!

I also am doing something pretty cool on Friday, but I can't talk about it until after. So, I do know I am very lucky.

Plus this post got me to thinking I might pop down to Battleship Cove on Saturday or Sunday.

Ok, so the rest of you keep quiet. I'm fine, I have plenty of pain pills. And lots of people are worse off.


Anonymous said...

Have you thought about looking into a sleep doctor? I'm not sure if that falls into the realm of paralysis upon waking up, which can be a symptom of some sleep disorders... Good luck!

BostonMaggie said...

Thanks, but the numbness and pain are symptoms of my cancer - multiple myeloma, IGA lamba stage IIIA, incurable, drug-resistant.

LOL! I *WISH* I had sleep apnea.

Boquisiucio said...

I wish I had something smart and comforting to add; but alas, words escape me at the time. While I don't always comment, on what you write, I do read Mag.

I do read.

Mrs. Diva said...

Oh hell, those tingles are IRRITATING!! lol I get them every now and then and you just can't really explain them. I'm gonna have to email you about falling out of the house though! That's something I haven't tried ;) Hang tough and think about the next time we'll get together for a drink!!

tankerbabe said...

I'm one of those who reads often but has never commented. I'm commenting now because I want you to know how much reading about your battle to beat cancer has helped me understand so much more about what my sister in law is going through. You have NO IDEA what a huge help you are. Thank you for that.

And since I've learned about the difficulties the side effects of chemo have had on my sister in law (numbness and pain in toes, fingers, feet) I feel for you Maggie.

You, like my sister in law, are amazingly strong. Great inspiration and huge reality checks for me.


I hope you have had better days since you posted this.

AFSister said...

Hey Maggie.
I was thinking about you yesterday, and wondering how you were doing. I guess this answers it, eh?

If you're still hoping to come to the wedding, I believe we can get you a room on base. Let us know, ok? I think Andi (SpouseBuzz/Milblog Conference Andi) might come too. Tankerbabe is my Maid of Honor, you know! We haven't heard from John & Beth yet.
Oh, and I am sure that the draw of me in a wedding gown with you present will draw Bill back from Eye-Rack. I just know it! ;-) How could he resist??