I think I am at a crossroads.
But probably not. Because a "Being at a crossroads" infers a choice. And I don't think I have a choice.
Everyone in life has a combination of people who lift them up and people who weigh them down. I judge people by how they juggle their mix. I've always been pretty comfortable with my ratio.
Sure I make jokes "it's all about Maggie" - "all time is Maggie time" - but I also believe in a cosmic point system and I try to squirrel away some points for the day I stand at the gate. Of course I probably won't have a single point more than I need....let's not get carried away. I'll never be confused with Mother Theresa.
However, some things aren't a choice. Some things, I am simply compelled to do. I don't choose to take care of Tommy, Frankie, Bill or Dan. They are my boys.
I thought I was at the tail end of this and I remember thinking that I was glad that my cancer wasn't diagnosed until this point. It meant I could focus on that.....not that I've been all that focused....but that's another story, huh?
So it appears there will be one more......ah, what the hell do I call it? Project? Complication? Undertaking?
Yeah, I guess undertaking. Dan has a problem. I want Dan to come back. Frankie is going to go get him.
I am filled with dread.
3 years ago