5 AM

Like an old acquaintance I am not really happy to see....the side effects of chemo are back. Bette, Jen & I went to dinner at East Bay last night. I had the special, Sole Oscar with basmati rice and asparagus. It was delicious.

We were home at a decent hour. I was online until just after midnight. Brushed my teeth and washed my face like a good girl and off to sleep. I should have been out like a light until at least 8am. That's how I am. I am a world champion sleeper. But steroids bring heartburn, even if you eat the most bland foods. And steroids steal sleep.

I walked outside, I would just drag the computer to the deck, but that would mean disturbing Jen on the way by.

I woke up thinking about an awkward exchange last night at the bar. I maneuvered our spot last night so we would have Dick, my favorite bartender. Jen & I were there first, but Bette showed up fairly quickly. Bette settled in her spot and Dick greeted her. She asked me "Did you tell Dick your news?" I was startled. Dick looked at me expectantly with a smile. He was anticipating some fun Navy thing I am sure or a newly planned trip.

I actually stuttered. Bette said "She's back in chemo." Now Dick is confused for half a second and then apologizes to me.

I know this is two things.....one, Bette is completely distressed and not thinking. Two, she worries about when I don't tell people things and then they feel bad that they didn't get to comfort me.

But man! Did I want to be anywhere but there!

Ok, I think I will try to sleep a little more. There are things I could do, but I'd probably just wake Jen.