The Last Lecture

Sometime last fall I watched "The Last Lecture". It was interesting and moving and I remember crying a little at the end. My impression was that Professor Randy Pausch was a very unique person.

Then in late July, I read of Professor Pausch's passing. We discussed it in the office and Rachael mentioned she had the book that went with the lecture. She brought it in the next day and I have been reading it in small doses ever since.

Rachael's mother was stunned that she gave me the book. She told Rachael that she felt as though she should write me a letter of apology on her daughter's behalf. I laughed and told Rachael to tell her mother not to worry, I was loving the book - in small doses.

I've just finished it.

I highly recommend it.

See? Not everything I read is Navy...or porn....but I repeat myself.

Seriously, read the book and watch the lecture. Even if you are the picture of health. I was in great shape when I watched the video last fall (or at least I didn't know I wasn't, lol). There is really something in it for everyone.

The Day Got.....BETTER!

Ok, the tremor settled down.

There was some crying and some flushing, but everyone is used to it now and no one comments.

But even better, I came into the office beefing about the dryer..........and both Pat and Nicole got all excited. They each have a spare electric dryer. Imagine that! So now I have my pick. Nicole is talking to her husband about when they can get it to me......if it will be a while, I will go with Pat's. Nic's a little newer, so it's first choice.

I guess somebody up there heard me say I couldn't take anymore, lol.

Pat and Nic had errands to run outside the office which meant after I explained I was broke and would have PB&J at my desk for lunch.....I ended up with a burger, fries, a Coke and an ice cream. Pat & Nic had a good laugh about having the same idea.
Then Rachael decorated my back window for McCain. You know if I wasn't such a procrastinator..........I would have had tons of stuff. After all, during the primary Massachusetts was hotly contested Romney territory. I'm thinking they would have paid *me* to put up lawn signs and bumper stickers. But no.....I didn't. Now I am in backburner city. Well, we all know Princess Crabby doesn't have $35 to pay for one.....so Rachael to the rescue.

With the tremor I knew I couldn't be the one to write on my rear windshield. If I wrote it people would be asking why I was supporting Adlai Stevenson!

Here's my vid

I Think This Means Revlimid Was Never My Problem

Yesterday was the last dose of Revlimid for this 21 day round.

Today was my fourth weekly dose of 40 mg of Dexamethosone.

Supposedly it's better tolerated when taken earlier in the day. I took it at 0900.

My breakfast was a dozen eggs and a loaf of toast......ok that's a slight exageration. However I am told that one of the steroid side effects is your inability the shut the door on the fridge.

At 1300 I took my vitamins and instead of a low dose aspirin (81 mg), I took two regular (325 mg) aspirin for the headache. Didn't touch it.

At 1400 I started using the O2.

My hands are shaking so bad that when I went to put a mug in the microwave, I hit the top and spilled it everywhere. I went to put my cell phone on my desk and missed by a foot.

I told my email group that -
You would all do well to remember this is STEROID DAY!!!!!!

My resting pulse is 106 and my atomic weight is increasing exponentially as I eat this bushel of M&Ms and contemplate the utter decimation of my enemies. Yes, enemies, plural. I am compiling a list. I wish "To crush my enemies, drive them before me, and hear the lamentation of their women."

I was asked -
"lamentation of their women"???
But I thought you eschewed home-wrecking
[Ducks back behind the berm]

My answer?
Trazodone side effects
The most common adverse reactions encountered are drowsiness, nausea/vomiting, headache and dry mouth. Adverse reactions reported include the following
Behavioral
Drowsiness, fatigue, lethargy, psychomotor retardation, lightheadedness, dizziness, difficulty in concentration, confusion, uncontrollable laughter, sex drive increase
Plus, I never had much of a conscious anyway
************************
Now I just burnt my microwave popcorn. Rachael asked if it was my time of the month because her mother says she burns everything when it's her's. I said that's cause your mother has never been on drugs, Rachael!!!!

UPDATE******I just walked out back to get a file and I said "Wow! It stinks out here!" (burnt popcorn......and my boss yells "I wonder whose fault that is!!!!"

Off With Their Heads!!

One of my favorite Disney characters was the Red Queen in "Alice in Wonderland". I aspire to be that despotic.

As I said.....today is the tenth day.

First, Grace called this morning -
G - "Where are you?"
M - "In the shower."
G - "Ack! Visual!"
M - "You asked."
G - "Never mind. What's the timeline? When will the doctor call?"
M - "Probably not today."
G - "Will you call aggressively?"
M - "No. They said ten to fourteen days. Today is the tenth, plus it's a Friday in July. If I haven't heard by Tuesday, I will call."
G - Sounds of exasperation.

Then I get into work and field the same questions with the same answers.

We get a call from my favorite connection at the Jordan Hospital. She is aware of my situation and is going to "keep an eye out" for my test results. However, today she has called on another matter. Rachael hears her name and comes up to me......"What did she say?" I laugh and explain that she was ordering equipment for someone else......"Calm down Grace!" Rachael laughs.

My boss comes in and asks when I am going to call the doctor. I tell her Tuesday. She says she wants to call my doctor's office and pretend to be me.

Next up is a series of emails from Jen
J - "When will you hear from her today?"
M - "It may not be today. Grace called this morning. Everyone in the office has asked, lol. Bette wants to call and pretend to be me. It is far more likely to be Monday."
J - "I realize I was just wondering if she was more likely to call you in the afternoon?"
M - "I think getting the call today is highly unlikely, period. However, she makes her calls in the 1700 to 1900 range."
J - "Keeps your cranky pants on!! Serves us right for caring about cranky Mary…………"
M - "*You* people are bothering me. Not vice versa."
J - "I’m your people?? I don’t know if I want to be in the category."
M - "You are. Deal with it."

Look, I know I waited to tell some people. But you know now. I will tell you any further info as soon as I know it. However, I am not going to crawl up the ass of my medical care team.

It's not helping the state of my mental health if you all call.

My Birthday Gift From Gracie

I took a few pics to share, but you know they were all shaky and blurry. So I brought it into work and Rachael took some for me.As one might guess, a Navy girl who lives 800 feet from the Atlantic Ocean likes a beach theme.Rachael was so impressed with this that she made sure to take a pic of the border so people who are crafty could appreciate Grace's mad skills. When I saw what she had embroidered on the back - "I love you once, I love you twice, I love you more than Coke & ice" I got the tiniest bit verklempt. When Tommy was a baby I read or heard a rhyme somewhere "I love you once, I love you twice, I love you more than beans & rice". I thought that was ridiculous! What don't I love more than beans and rice? It must have been some southern thing, lol. Anyway, I changed it to something more meaningful. Now Coke & ice..........there's something to love. Picture a perfect summer day relaxing in the yard with a nice glass of Coke & ice.....mmmmmm.

So you would know you were important if I loved you more than that! I said it to both my babies, all of Grace's babies and Frankie's babies too.

Thank you Gracie. it's perfect.

Does It Get Any Better!!!!!

Rachael is one of my girls in the office. I have known her since she was 5. She was one of my Tommy's first and best friends. When we were looking for a little part time office help, I suggested her to my boss. It worked out so well that it went fulltime and we're all very happy.

Once in a while Rachael will bake us a treat. Last night as she was leaving work I called out that if the cookie mood hit her.......I was working in the office from 9 until 2. She laughed.

I came in this morning and...........

It's a Starbucks vanilla chai latte, a bear claw and a plate of homemade Tollhouse bars!!!!!!!

MMMMM

Did I mention that I have gained fifteen and half pounds since my diagnosis????????? LOL

Then I turn on the computer and it's BIDEN!!! Yesssssssss

I am only working until 1400 because I am leaving for a family party. My cousin Kathy (who read about the cancer in the blog and called my mother) is having a party for her daughter's birthday. This will be the first time she sees me since then, she better not get deep or serious. My parents and sisters will be there. I am hoping my brother shows up. Mind you this is the tiniest bit odd......Kathy and her husband usually celebrate MaryKate's birthday with a small family party, siblings, parents, grandparents. And it's not milestone year, she is turning 24. I am thinking my situation is making Kathy feel the need to see family more. I could be wrong, after all we are lots of fun at parties....I would invite us too!

Then Jen and I will bring our goddaughters back to stay overnight. Tomorrow the high tide is at 1750. Those are my favorites! The late afternoon sun. The water coming in over the sun warmed flats. I will soooooooo enjoy that.

So in answer to my question "Does it get any better?" No it doesn't!

Spa Sunday and Mistaken Texts

****UPDATE**** Lily's was such fun. We had a very good time. There are pictures of glamorous women all over the walls including several shots of Coco Chanel. I mentioned to Lily that I had gone to see the movie at Plimoth Plantation last night. She said she wanted to see it and I told her she must!!
The Mario Bedescu rep that was doing the facials was laughing at my sisters and I. She said "You guys have a good time, huh?" I told her we did and we were very lucky. We are.
Ok, first off, people should text from their own phones so I don't get confused.

A few weeks ago, I got an email from Lily's in Plymouth. Lily's is this great little shop in Plymouth where they pride themselves in not just selling you something, but selling you the right something. It's in the old post office in downtown Plymouth and the counter is in front of all the old post office boxes. It's charming, it's unique and Lily...the owner proprietor is just such a nice person.
I started going in there for little things back in 2003. My weight was up, I wasn't working out, I was at a place in my life that was dull. I woke up and went on Atkins, joined a gym and started getting out more. Lily is part of my post-2003 life. Since the cancer DX though, I haven't been in much. In 2008 my income dropped $13,000. In 2009 it has dropped another $17,000. So, of course even *I* can't justify perfumed soaps and lipstick when my house is going to be foreclosed. I do have one foot in the real world....ok, maybe it's a few toes.

But I am still on her email list. Two weeks ago she announced a Mario Badescu event. This is a line of very reasonably priced skin care products that is good with my skin. The offer was 30 minute facial for $10 each.

My family cancelled the Christmas grab last year because of my financial woes. So I thought this would be great to make up for no cool Christmas presents from me for my nieces.

Kelly couldn't make it, she is working. So I made appointments for Gen, Deb, Jen and I. Grace and my mother weren't interested, but were going to join us for lunch.

Well, my mother backed out first. It's a long way to drive and hang without a soft seat nearby.

This morning I got a couple of texts from Jennifer and Deb. But one text wasn't from Deb, it was Gen using Deb's phone. So I thought, Debbie was sick and Gen (who sleeps in Deb's room when she is home from college) wasn't coming either to keep from spreading germs.

But no, Gen went back to school early and Jen wasn't feeling well.

So I just hung up from my second phone call to Lily's to say I am only cancelling one appointment, not two. Good thing they don't expect too much from me!

I called Rachael to see if she wanted the fourth appointment, but I just missed her.

So I am off to dress for our slightly abbreviated Girl's Afternoon.

If you are ever in Plymouth.....stop in Lily's. Especially if you are a guy looking for a unique gift. Lily always takes care of Frankie.

It's The Thought That Counts

So I am, thanks to multiple myeloma and Revlimid, tired and rundown, fatigued and unsuccessfully fighting a two week old cold. On the bright side, my germs are not strong enough to make anyone else around me sick.

I was whining to my mother about the cold.....wah...... and wah, what if this was my life for the next four to six months, wah....... She sighed and told me I wasn't a good patient. Then I told her how everyone around me was trying to disinfect things for me. And, like the brat I am, that is starting to irritate me. She laughed, she knew just what I meant and made fun of me.

Then for fun she pointed out that if people weren't killing all those germs for me, imagine how much more sick I could be.

Shit! I hadn't thought of that. We laughed that without Rachael and Nic wiping everything in work down with Chlorox wipes and Bette and Pat spraying Lysol in the ladies room.....I might have leprosy by now.

Anyway, I came home and the boys are trying to do their part. We've switched to paper plates, etc. They are better about picking up after themselves.

Of course there was another bite my tongue moment. I came out into the living room in time to catch Frankie cleaning the finished wood coffee table with Windex. He was going to town scrubbing it. He held up the paper towel and announced "Look at all this dirt!" Ok, it's not dirt, it's the finish on the table.

Oh well.

It's the thought that counts.

Happy New Year!

Well, this certainly wasn't my plan for how to spend the New Year....so there is no food in this house. LOL I won't starve, there are tangelos, thanks to Rachael. But I want eggs and bacon and toast.

i have no car. It's buried in the parking lot at work because Bette drove me home.

That rotten Frankie better surface soon. He has a mother to take care of.

I Have A Car!!!

After what seems like eons of cadging rides and renting/borrowing cars, I finally have one. It's a 1998 Ford Windstar. A minivan. How's that for irony? My kids are grown, it's just me. I was looking at tiny cars. I end up with a giant minivan. LOL

But Rachael pointed out, this may work out for some of my adventures. Just drive places and sleep in the car. I don't actually know about that, but it's something to consider.

I got to Boston to pick it up at 11:15 am after several days of nonsense. I really appreciate the guy who arranged this for me, but it was clear that he was trying to draw this out so I would spend time with him.

After several errands and some things that "popped up", I finally got on the Tobin at 1:57 pm.

The drive from Boston was hell. My life has been so hectic lately that I didn't realize......it's Friday! Everyone in the free world was on route 3 south headed for the Cape.

Two solid hours to make a drive that I can do in 35 minutes most times.

I've just wiped down the dashboard and cleaned out the glove box etc.

I am beat. But this is a huge load off of my mind.

Undesirable????

**2nd UPDATE
This from the fav BMCS - "And just so you know, I found myself a NAVY network and a NAVY computer here and it LOVES your blog."
Ahhhh, and the world is right again.

**UPDATE - This note from Uncle Jimbo
"Maybe they meant incomprehensible and just misspelled it.
Cordially,
Uncle J"
*******
Oh, someone is in trouble now!

I got this Facebook message from the favorite BMCS -

"And unfortunately, I cannot view your blog from here. The Army computers that I use say it is an "undesirable" site. Access denied. The Navy wouldn't do you like that."

There were a lot of words they could have used.....but "undesirable"????? Really?

That's just wrong! If the Army wants to say this site is full of swabbie doxie nonsense, well that's fine (and true). But "undesirable"!!!

On a happier note, this pic made another valued member of Princess Crabby's Navy Coterie, YN2, realize he was in close proximity to my BMCS. They will have a cup of coffee and discuss how lucky they are to be in my good graces.

I told the girls in the office and Rachael pointed out it was "The Six Degrees of BostonMaggie".

Reactions to My Panic Attack

Bigg Bill in response to my email on the Obama birth certificate controversy which we have been discussing..... "Pretty good for a mental cripple."

Rachael went out for the lunch errand for the office and came back with a Panera carmel chocolate brownie. She warmed it, put it on a real plate, wrapped the fork in a napkin.......fine dining, my friends.
Pat finally stopped trying to get me to answer questions off of the top of my head. She realizes that today, there is nothing there.

Jennifer is going to handle tonight's dinner and entertainment.

And of course the very kind comments in the post below.

What's The Opposite Of Relaxing In the Spa

It's when you work for a medical equipment/home oxygen company and the Joint Commission shows up!

After my wonderful relaxing Sunday in the spa at Foxwoods, I woke up Monday and headed back down to the 9th floor. We were going to head back at a leisurely pace, there was no rush.

I stopped at the front desk and asked about a pedicure at the Grand Salon. I got my pass for the spa. I stopped at the women's locker room desk, got my locker key, etc. I stowed my bags in the locker and headed back out. I had left my wrap in the lounge the night before, I wanted to go see if someone had turned it in. I also planned to grab a tea to sip as I read by the pool.

As I passed by the front desk, my cell rang. It was Rachael. "The Joint Commission is here. I am NOT kidding!" My brain froze, I was 100 miles away. "That's fine. I am on my way."

I told the woman behind the desk to cancel everything, ran down the hall to the locker room and grabbed my stuff. As I passed the woman at the front desk, she was holding out the money I had just paid for the pedicure.

I grabbed my boss, stuffed her in the car....and we were off!

I must admit, this was much easier than previous visits. The surveyor was much nicer and very relaxed. A former Marine. Plus we all have cell phones and instant messaging, so there were no surprises. I knew what was happening and what questions were being asked. that made me soooo much more relaxed.

We passed.....I rock!

The Thing That Really Nags At Me

Is what about people who *are* worse off than me?

My next regular check-in with Dr. H is tomorrow. Normally there is blood work for this. We are monitoring the effect of the Revlimid on the normal components of my blood. This appointment was originally scheduled for Tuesday the 16th, what would have been two weeks or so into round 3. However, round 3 started off two weeks late after a series of snafus. I let them do the blood work on the 15th anyway because I wanted to know the effects of the two week delay on the IGA number.

So this morning I called Dr. H's office to make sure they were keeping track of me and there were orders in the computer for my blood work. Then three hours later I called over to see what the wait was like at the drawing station near work. It's literally across the intersection from me.

I snagged one of Rachael's Christmas candy packages that she made up for the drivers to drop at different doctor's offices and facilities. After all, I've become friendly enough with these people for them to have said if I come on a steroid day.....not to come empty handed. With no sleep last night, you have no idea how hard today was for a lot of people in my orbit. Especially a couple of vendors who were not doing what I wanted.

I get to the drawing station. No patients. Three techs. No order in the computer save an old mistake that said I was there for a urine test. I put the red, white and green chinese take-out style container on the counter. They weren't the regular crew and they were giving me funny looks while they tried to straighten things out.

"Is that your urine specimen?' one of them finally asked.

"No, it's candy! I took my steroids yesterday and I am not allowed to come in here empty handed when I am raging." I tipped the box forward so they could see the label with my company's name. "And someone else packed it, so you won't get any of my germs either."

They laughed in relief.

My orders were called in. But the question remains. What happens to people who can't say - "Yeah, I know I am here for a CBC and a comp." "No I don't need a urine test." "Yeah, my doctor's office number is ....."???? Or the people who can't hang and wait because of a transportation issue or because they are so debilitated???? Or a million other things? And what happens when, because the drugs are draining my brain, I am one of those people?

Random Stuff

I am just back from seeing Sue at Utopia Place........I am young and beautiful again. This is the best I look all month!

I got an email from Jeff Schogol of Star & Stripes about the Roughead hearing.
My colleague at Stripes who covers the Pentagon says the hearing will likely be in early September, but he does not have more specific information.
Jeff Schogol
Thanks, Jeff.....but that's so long!

I have pizza in Jennifer's oven, waiting for her to show up from work (she is more a work-a-holic than I am). The pizza has to stay in the oven because Jen keeps the place like an igloo. I had to run through the house to get it in the oven before it iced over.

As soon as she's ready we are going to watch last week's episode of "Rescue Me" and if I can stay up late enough (with this head cold) we will watch tonight's episode. At least, once every episode Jen and I end up screaming at something. Plus Jen loves pointing out that his crazy, over-sexed sister is named Maggie. I ordered garlic bread for my cold.

Guess what else I have? Oreo Cakesters, lol. We were talking about them in work and when Rachael left, she went to Walmart, bought them and left them on my front seat. Isn't she good to me? I had one. They are good. The rest I will bring into the office to share.

I AM A JACKASS

SB made a special request and I got the items as quickly as I could. They came in last Tuesday and Rachael mailed them for me on Thursday. He should get this package today by my calculations.

However, when he opens one of the two packages he will be perplexed. On the same day I received his two boxes, I got something I ordered for a customer.

Yes I mailed SB something every Sailor in the desert wants.....trach brushes and hospital, non-skid sock/slippers.

I went to open the Invacare order and wondered why it was so heavy and rattling.

I am a jackass.

OK, The Cold River Distillery Tour Date Is Set

What - A tour of the Cold River Distillery followed by dinner somewhere nearby.

When - Saturday August 14, 2010 between noon and 5 pm

Where - 437 US Route One, Freeport, Maine 04032

I have loved Cold River Vodka for a while. For me, everything is a foreign policy decision. So in choosing vodka I thought "Why not an American brand?" After some research and with some good luck.....I found Cold River Vodka and I love it!

I wanted to go see the distillery since it was just Down East of me..... and we are turning it into a Girl's Weekend plus.

Who can go? Anyone who would like to.

Right now it is Jennifer, Grace, Debbie (Gen will be in Australia) and Mary Ripley. I am asking Bette, Pat, Rachael and Nic from work; Eileen, Kathy and Peggy who are school chums; and some of my cousins.

I have mentioned this to a few other people in the blog world and we are going to see whose schedules we can sync up.

There is a Comfort Suites within stumbling distance.

Wanna come? Let me know.

View Larger Map

So, I Took A Pregnancy Test

LOL

That's how I said it on the phone to my mother too.

Fun for shock value.

After I filled out all the Revlimid paperwork in the doctor's office Monday I thought I was all set. It bordered on the ridiculous. I had to place my initials in at least 11 different boxes, mostly having to do with pregnancy. I had to promise not to get pregnant on this medication. Not to share my medication with anyone who could be or get pregnant. Not nurse while on this medication. I had to promise that if I were to engage in heterosexual intercourse, I would use a primary and a secondary method of birth control. It went on and on.

Then I got back to the office and they called - I needed to get back in there for a pregnancy test. It's not good enough for me to say I am not pregnant. The manufacturer will not ship the Revlimid until they get a negative blood test result.

I went this morning and when I got to the office Rachael and Nic had left a little present on my chair. A little baby "onsie" wrapped in baby shower paper.

Ha. Ha.

Bed in Two Minutes - I Swear!

Just back from Jen's. I am exhausted!

I was up with the birds to do laundry & get to CCD. Then into work for a bit.

Then a meet-up with my good friend, CDR Junge who is in Boston for a seminar/symposium thing. There was a "welcome-to-the-conference" reception....I crashed it. I got a seriously awesome birthday present....I'll get Rachael to take a pic of it tomorrow at work, my hands are too shaky now.

Then down to Jen's for The Pacific

I wasn't disappointed! I watched it live while she was at dinner, then we watched the added content in "On Demand" & Episode 1 (my 3rd viewing). Then at midnight, I watched Episode 2 for the 2nd time (Jen's 1st).

Now bed.

When New Year's Resolutions Meet...

....that particular mix of ADD & Alzheimer's I have.

Today was supposed to be the first day back on Atkins.

The alarm went off - I am going to go in to work for a bit. I got up, walked to the back of the house to turn the water heater up, we turn it down to conserve. Unloaded the dryer.....walked into the kitchen.....poured a glass of Coke and sliced a piece of Rachael's coffee cake.

I came here, sat down to check email while the water heated up.....

Then I realized what day it was.

Oh well, like Mama Kelley used to quote from her favorite movie "Gone With The Wind" - "Tomorrow is another day!"

Happy New Year everyone!