Monday, December 29, 2008

The Thing That Really Nags At Me

Is what about people who *are* worse off than me?

My next regular check-in with Dr. H is tomorrow. Normally there is blood work for this. We are monitoring the effect of the Revlimid on the normal components of my blood. This appointment was originally scheduled for Tuesday the 16th, what would have been two weeks or so into round 3. However, round 3 started off two weeks late after a series of snafus. I let them do the blood work on the 15th anyway because I wanted to know the effects of the two week delay on the IGA number.

So this morning I called Dr. H's office to make sure they were keeping track of me and there were orders in the computer for my blood work. Then three hours later I called over to see what the wait was like at the drawing station near work. It's literally across the intersection from me.

I snagged one of Rachael's Christmas candy packages that she made up for the drivers to drop at different doctor's offices and facilities. After all, I've become friendly enough with these people for them to have said if I come on a steroid day.....not to come empty handed. With no sleep last night, you have no idea how hard today was for a lot of people in my orbit. Especially a couple of vendors who were not doing what I wanted.

I get to the drawing station. No patients. Three techs. No order in the computer save an old mistake that said I was there for a urine test. I put the red, white and green chinese take-out style container on the counter. They weren't the regular crew and they were giving me funny looks while they tried to straighten things out.

"Is that your urine specimen?' one of them finally asked.

"No, it's candy! I took my steroids yesterday and I am not allowed to come in here empty handed when I am raging." I tipped the box forward so they could see the label with my company's name. "And someone else packed it, so you won't get any of my germs either."

They laughed in relief.

My orders were called in. But the question remains. What happens to people who can't say - "Yeah, I know I am here for a CBC and a comp." "No I don't need a urine test." "Yeah, my doctor's office number is ....."???? Or the people who can't hang and wait because of a transportation issue or because they are so debilitated???? Or a million other things? And what happens when, because the drugs are draining my brain, I am one of those people?

1 comment:

Stella said...

Maggie, your writing doesn't seem any different to me. You're still bright, observant, and ask questions about your progress. That takes a sharp mind.

Of course, I have no answers for your profound questions. There are down times and sometimes we have to feel what we feel.

To me, that you are still asking the questions in your last paragraph means you're not giving up and taking care of yourself.

I will just continue to believe in your strength and that you will be well.