USS Whidbey Island Change of Command

CDR Junge's remark from this morning's Change of Command ceremony in the Metro Machine Shipyard. I was invited but couldn't make it. I am as disappointed about not making it as I am happy for CDR Junge and his family on this day.

Commodore, thank you for your kind words. I’ve spent months thinking about writing, and giving, this speech. But, unlike the one I wrote and gave almost two years ago – which I wrote with relish and excitement – this one I postponed and postponed, only writing the first words three weeks ago. As a result, I fully expect this to be as disjointed, fragmented, and confused as my thoughts and emotions are today.

I remember standing on the flight deck 20 months ago with Captain Pete Fanta and my predecessor, Erik Ross, and making jokes about how when taking command this ceremony is just like getting married. As a groom all you do is show up, say the right words at the right time, do what you are told.

Well…relinquishing command, in turn, is akin to being the father of the bride and giving someone you love away to a complete and utter stranger, but having all the trust and confidence that he will do everything to take care of your girl.

Like all analogies, that one falls apart if you dig to far…but I can unreservedly say that I have loved this job…for all it’s faults, problems, challenges, and infuriating times I loved it. From my first day underway with a conning officer who was, I later learned, conning the ship for the very first time…to my last night sleeping on the barge instead of in my all too familiar cabin.

Despite, or perhaps because of, what Paulette and I came to call “The Drama” I have grown, and learned, and had some amazing epiphanies, and also made some incredible mistakes. I thanked the crew yesterday for their support in a challenging tour…but want to mention a few things along the way about the crew whose command I relinquish today.

In the 602 days since I took command, this ship was out of homeport for over 320 of them with 90% of those days underway, at sea.

The most underway ship in the Atlantic Fleet for most of that tour.

With a crew who had already deployed for six of the twelve months before I took command.
The days of “where are the carriers” has definitely been replaced with “where are the amphibs” and this amphib was there, and there, and there over and over again.

One spectacular underway replenishment of a merchant vessel.

Two beer days.

Three times reporting that we were out of fresh fruits and vegetables.

Four amazing summer port calls that many other ships and crews only dream of.

10 rounds in defense of the ship.

Operations with any special operations unit you can name. This crew did superb things, in difficult conditions and they deserve my thanks, my gratitude, and the gratitude of a Nation who will never fully understand what they did and how they fit into our continued freedom. And that’s OK…because if we are doing our jobs right, then no one ever remembers us.

This crew is an amazing collection of people and a study in contradictions. For all of our successes and challenges, the one thing I will always remember is that everyone who walked onboard this ship and spent more than 30 seconds with a member of this crew came away knowing that these Sailors are proud of what they do, proud of the United States Navy, and proud of USS Whidbey Island.

There are a few people I want to thank from outside the lifelines. First of all, Captain Pete Fanta, who was my first commodore and could not be here today. He let me command from the very first day. There are still squadron commodores out there who reach inside the lifelines and make decisions for those commanding officers. Captain Fanta was not one of them and he let me do my thing – even letting me make mistakes and sometimes taking the heat for me so that I could learn what to do, what not to do, and be a better Captain.

Commodore Lineberry – though only working for you for a short time thank you as well for letting us do our thing our way as we moved from the operational phase into what you see around us. You have a great staff that have been nothing but professional and helpful and I wish you the best as you deploy South on one of the most important missions our Navy does today.

Commodore Craig Kleint and Captain Michael Hill and the rest of the LSD LPD Class Squadron staff. They have done amazing work documenting the well intentioned mistakes Navy has made towards LSDs and helping provide solutions to correct those errors. It’s an almost thankless job – but valuable and slowly being recognized for how important it is.

I’d like to thank CDR George Bain, who also could not be here. In a dark time last November he lent his wit, his experience, and his support when I and the crew really needed it. His death in January was a tremendous blow to all of us and he leaves behind a world that was the better for us having known him.

Metro Machine – John Stremm, Rod Douglas, Bob Wallace and an amazing team working behind, above and around us on this massive ship who let us take a short pause for this ceremony.

Command Master Chief Kevin Morgan and his wife Anne – bedrock support and sage advice.

Master Chief – Even though BMC has done a great job and we transferred you to ACU2 for all the right reasons, I have missed talking to you every day since you left.

Chaplain Charles Luff. He carried peppermint lifesavers with him everywhere he went and was an inspiration to everyone on our deployment.

Our Scan Eagle detachment – four slimy contractors and four IA’d Sailors who helped us make history.

LCDR Dave Zielinski and LCDR Tony Duttera – the face of Amphibious Squadron TWO. Both class acts and officers I hope to serve with again.

When a blogger who has never served a day at sea questioned my ability to command a number acquaintances, but mostly strangers, rapidly defended me. Boston Maggie, Neptunus Lex, Galhran, Commander Salamander, Eagle1, Sailor Bob, Georgia Girl, MustangLT and a whole host of others – thank you all and I am grateful that a messy drama like that brought so many new and valuable friends into my life.

Christina Wray and Penney Soboski – two amazing women who balanced busy homelives with demanding jobs as Whidbey Island’s ombudsmen. Thank you for everything you did behind the scenes to take care of the families we left ashore when we were at sea. Without you, your dedication, and your care this job would have been far more challenging.

BMC Garrett – thanks for stepping in as Command Master Chief and I hope to see your name on the Senior Chief list.

XO, thanks for getting the difference between “at, near, and about”. I wish you, Julie, and your ever growing family the best as you finish this tour and move on to your future.

Mom – thanks for spending time with the girls while I was gone. It will take some getting used to with you visiting a little bit less now with me home and Saylor in Annapolis.

Finally, Paulette, Ella and Eva. I have missed you these past two years more than you will ever know. And I know you missed having me at home. As we discussed over and over again, we made the decision to geo-bach this tour for all the right reasons. It still sucked. While I am saddened to be leaving command, that sadness is eclipsed – completely and wholly - by the joy I have that I will once again be home with you three (and Lenny, Jane, and Goldie) each and every night – not just a few weekends each month.

Kirk – congratulations on coming to command. You are the absolutely right person for this job and I could not think of a better person to be turning command over to. I envy you being able to take Whidbey Island, put her together and take her back to sea again.

Eighteen years ago this month I reported to my first ship. Sixteen years ago this month I qualified surface warfare officer. Fifteen years ago – almost to the day – I left that first ship. At least one shipmate from that time is here today, as are a number of others who helped me along the way. It has been a winding, challenging, interesting road to get here and I am curious to see what comes next.

In closing…I want to leave you with the New Years greeting one of my favorite authors used this past year:
May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you're wonderful, and don't forget to make some art -- write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself.

I will now read my orders:
“From: Chief of Naval Personnel Millington, Tennessee;
To: Commanding Officer, USS WHIDBEY ISLAND
Subject: Bupers Order 0124-1025-0127
When directed by reporting senior, detach from duty as Commanding Officer USS WHIDBEY ISLAND, and report to for duty to the Office of the Secretary of Defense.”

CDR Weatherly, I am ready to be relieved.

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BZ Commander!

Guess What this Is

It's a house made out of shipping containers.

LOL!

Yahoo ran a story about people who have converted shipping containers into living spaces.

Cove Park Artists' Retreat
Set on 50 acres of gorgeous Scottish countryside, Cove Park is an artist's retreat designed to stimulate and reinvigorate. Urban Space Management first brought in three repurposed shipping containers in 2001, and the center became so popular that more units have been added.
Doesn't look like your average shipping box, does it?

'Above & Beyond Citizen Honors' Announces and Honors 2009 Recipients

'Above & Beyond Citizen Honors' Announces and Honors 2009 Recipients WASHINGTON, March 25, 2009 /PRNewswire-USNewswire via COMTEX/ ----

The Congressional Medal of Honor Foundation today announced and nationally honored the Above & Beyond Citizen Honors recipients for 2009. After a nationwide search and selection process, three Americans have been selected for their selflessness and indomitable courage.

The three unsung heroes are:

Rick Rescorla of New Jersey, posthumously, for going above and beyond on September 11, 2001 by courageously rescuing his fellow citizens by ordering the evacuation of all 2,700 Morgan Stanley Dean Witter & Co. employees from the building and leading them to safety, and following, by re-entering the building to search for survivors.

David Bryan of Kansas City, Missouri, for going above and beyond by valiantly rescuing a motorist from a burning automobile on Eastbound I-70, one mile from the city of Higginsville, Missouri.

Jeremy Hernandez of Minneapolis, Minnesota, a part-time youth worker, for going above and beyond by saving the lives of 50 children as the school bus they were on was about to plunge into the Mississippi River following the I-35W Bridge Collapse.

"Somebody Had To Do It......

"....and it just happened to be me."

Congressional Medal of Honor Recipients Part 2 - watch more videos

"This Medal Is Not Mine.......

.....it belongs to all those kids who never grew up to be grandfathers. I just hold it in trust."
2nd Lt. George H. O'Brien, Jr. USMC

Congressional Medal of Honor Recipients Part 1 - watch more videos

National Medal of Honor Day

March 25th is "National Medal of Honor Day". The date was chosen because the first Congressional Medals of Honor were awarded on March 25, 1863.

The Pentagon Channel will have several shows on today focusing on MOH recipients.
1000 - The Conscientious Objector: The story of World War II veteran and Medal of Honor recipient CPL Desmond Doss. (2 hrs)
Encore presentation at 1600hrs.
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1200 - Eagle Feather: The story of Medal of Honor recipient MSG Woodrow Keebler. (30 min)
Encore presentation at 2200hrs.
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1330 - Dunham: A Life of Honor: A look at the life and sacrifice of Medal of Honor recipient Cpl Jason L. Dunham, produced by Marine TV. (30 min)
Encore presentation at 1830hrs.
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1400 - Medal of Honor Ceremony: Commander in Chief Barack Obama makes remarks as 35 living Medal of Honor recipients lay wreath at Tomb of the Unknowns at Arlington National Cemetery. (Live)
Encore presentation at 0000hrs.
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2000 - Recon Revisited: To Give All That I Am: An in-depth look at the life of Medal of recipient SFC Paul R. Smith through the eyes of his friends, family, and comrades. (VoD, 30 min)
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SOUTHCOM Baseball Team Aims to Win Friends In Latin America

SOUTHCOM Baseball Team Aims to Win Friends In Latin America
Posted On: Mar 24 2009 4:03PM
By Mass Communication Specialist First Class Gino Flores
U.S. Southern Command Public Affairs

MIAMI – A baseball team representing U.S. Southern Command will begin a 25-day friendship tour to five Latin American nations Friday, where it will take part in exhibition games with military and civilian teams, and conduct free clinics for aspiring players of various age groups.

The team, comprised of command players, is scheduled to visit communities in Panama, Nicaragua, Honduras, Chile and the Dominican Republic during the tour.

In addition to exhibition games and baseball clinics, the team will also conduct visits to various schools, hospitals, orphanages and little leagues.

The tour, dubbed Baseball Partnership Tour 2009, was planned in coordination with the Department of State, host governments and Major League Baseball, and affords participating players an opportunity to take part in camaraderie-building athletic activities as goodwill representatives of their nation and the sport.

Now in its second year, the tour represents the command’s ongoing commitment to strengthening friendships with partner nations in the hemisphere through activities that range from combined military training and exercises to personal interaction outside of traditional military settings.

“There is no better way to forge individual bonds with our friends in the region than through personal contact," said Lt. Gen. Glenn Spears, Military Deputy Commander of U.S. Southern Command. "The nations our team will be visiting share our passion for baseball -- a sport that now enjoys a growing global following. It is this shared passion for baseball that will bring players and fans together during this tour. Their personal contact will cultivate many new friendships and further strengthen the existing partnerships between our countries.”

Back From The Battleground Victorious

So today was the checkup with the myeloma specialist at NEMC.

I was completely overwrought.

I forgot my list, my graphs, my anecdotal evidence.

I didn't have beakfast or vitamins or tea or water.

I was late and had a headache.

But I was still ready to do battle. I was going to put my foot down and demand another delay of treatment. I was going to win. I have things to do!

Before I could even start making my case, he said "I'm fine with delaying as long as you are being closely monitored by the local oncologist vis-a-vis kidney function."

I had won before I had even unsheathed my weapon.

The next three months are mine.

I will be going to the Milblog.....as a matter of fact.....I'm speaking.

A Funny From My Darling Chief

The things that show up in my email!
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Income taxes are normally due on April 15th unless that date falls on a Saturday or Sunday, in which case they are due on Monday the 16th or 17th.

However, I have been told that rule has recently been changed for 2008, as well as the next four years. The new rule states tax payments are no longer due until you are nominated to a cabinet position.

Consult the U.S. Department of the Treasury, 1500 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW, Washington, D.C. 20220 (phone 202-622-2000) for confirmation.

Here I Am, Hat In Hand

Troy at Bouhammer is trying to set up a showing of "At War" at the Milblog Conference.

You can go here and read Troy's review of the movie.

You can go here and read NYS Guard PAO Lt. Col. Paul Fanning's review.

Then please go to the side widget "Support the Showing of AT WAR at the 2009 Milblog Conference" (top right of the Bouhammer's page) and click on the "Donate" widget. Toss in a few bucks. Remember to throw in a little extra so Troy can make sure I get popcorn.

Sources: Obama to Name Mabus for SecNav; Work for UnderSec

From DOD Buzz

Sources: Obama to Name Mabus for SecNav; Work for UnderSec
By Christian Lowe Monday, March 16th, 2009 3:31 pm
Posted in Naval, Policy, Rumors

President Obama is expected to nominate Amb. Ray Mabus to be the next secretary of the Navy, sources tell DoD Buzz.
On Friday, former Navy Secretary Donald Winter resigned as planned, telling Sailors and Marines he was “blessed for having had the opportunity to serve as your secretary” and adding that “no period in my professional life can compare to the experiences that I have had in this position,” according to a Navy release.
According to well-placed sources not affiliated with the Obama administration, Mabus — a former Democrat governor of Mississippi and the ambassador to Saudi Arabia from 1994-1996 — has passed vetting from Pentagon chief Robert Gates’ office and the administration has informed leaders on Capitol Hill of the nomination.
Winter agreed to extend his term to help the Obama administration’s transition until March 13. Assistant Secretary of the Navy for Installations and the Environment B.J. Penn will serve until Mabus — or an alternative — is confirmed by the Senate.
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I don't know how I feel about Mabus, but I know I'm happy about Bob Work.
At least I know who to address the envelope to when I beef about this crap with Murtha.
Have you signed the petition yet? It's up to 24,559.

I Laughed, But I Thought....

....please don't let this be true.
A video from CTGolfer

Well? I'm Waiting!!!!

Don't you have something to say to me?

BlackFive Is Hammering Us Over This

...and rightly so!

WTF?

Jack "Lummox" Murtha Receives Distinguished Service Award from the Navy?!

I am ill.

There's an online petition to tell the SecNav (although we don't have one yet) how disappointed you are. I'm there.

So Now - Flag Shuffle

Who replaces ADM Willard as Commander, U.S. Pacific Fleet?

SB hemmed and hawed.

The super-secret SWO place says VCNO ADM Patrick Walsh, who I think has a New England connection....born locally? Not sure. Anyway, not a shoe. He's been in the news lately over GITMO.

Congratulations ADM Stavridis & ADM Willard

I guess I am over my little snit that the SecDef didn't consult me.

But no one has definatively explained where my friend ADM Keating is going. All signs point to retirement, and if he's happy, I'm happy....

My back channel emails (Princess Crabby has the best Navy Coterie ever) have pretty much assured me that this is a good move by Gates.....and we all know he needs one after that crap about Dover.

USS Springfield SSN-761 Hosts Families of IA Sailors

The USS Springfield is getting ready to leave Naval Station Rota and head home.

BZ to the officers and crew of SSN761 for reaching out these families.

I Could Just Weep

So I keep thinking "Maybe it's not all bad." or "What if Stella is right and somehow Obama's crazy schemes work?"

There must be some ray of hope. Right? After all, he ran on the promise of hope and change.

I shove aside my misgivings when he appoints criminals and Clintonistas.

But this?

This is too much.

Former US President Jimmy Carter departs following a visit to the West Wing of the White House in Washington March 18, 2009.REUTERS/Jonathan Ernst (UNITED STATES POLITICS)

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See his finger on his nose? Isn't that how conmen signal each other when they are working a scam?

ADM Stavridis To Become SACEUR

*****UPDATE*****ADM Willard goes to PACOM******
Am I happy about this?

Is he?

Spencer Ackerman says it's happened.

Navy Changes Speicher Status To 'Missing In Action'

Navy Changes Speicher Status To 'Missing In Action'
Story Number: NNS090310-05
Release Date: 3/10/2009 1:49:00 PM

From the Department of the Navy

WASHINGTON (NNS) -- Secretary of the Navy Donald C. Winter determined March 10 that the status of Capt. Michael Scott Speicher is changed from "missing/captured" to "missing-in-action" (MIA).

This determination was made after a review of available information, including the report and recommendation of a Status Review Board and comments provided by the Speicher family, as well as a Defense Intelligence Agency assessment.

"The Navy appreciates the challenges Captain Speicher's family has faced these past 18 years," Winter said. "Captain Speicher is an American hero, and bringing him home to his family and his country will remain a top priority for the Navy and our nation."

Speicher was the first casualty of Operation Desert Storm. His F/A-18 Hornet was downed by hostile action Jan. 17, 1991 during the first manned air strike of the war. He was placed in an MIA status the next day.

His status was changed to "killed in action/body not recovered" (KIA/BNR) May 22, 1991, following a Secretary of the Navy Status Review Board that found "no credible evidence" to suggest he had survived the shoot down.

In December 1995, working through the International Committee of the Red Cross, investigators from the Navy and Army's Central Identification Laboratory entered Iraq and conducted a thorough excavation of the crash site. In September 1996, based on a comprehensive review of evidence accumulated since the initial KIA/BNR determination, the Secretary of the Navy reaffirmed the presumptive finding of death.

In January 2001, following the emergence of new evidence and further assessment by the intelligence community, the Secretary of the Navy concluded that Speicher's status should be "missing in action." A working group was established in July 2002, and in October of that year, the Secretary of the Navy changed the status from "MIA" to "missing/captured."

This status was continued following another review in September 2005.

In October 2008, the intelligence community concluded that Speicher is deceased, though his remains are unlocated. Based on that assessment, the Secretary of the Navy convened a Status Review Board to consider whether Speicher's status should remain missing/captured or should be changed.

Although the Status Review Board rejected the DIA assessment, the Secretary of the Navy concluded that there was no credible evidence that Speicher is "captured." However, in the abundance of caution, Secretary Winter determined that Speicher's status should be changed to MIA.

For more information, read the statement from Secretary Winter on the Web atwww.navy.mil/navydata/people/secnav/Winter/Message/Speicher%20Statement.pdf.

A Relaxing Evening At The Office

LOL, yup....that's right. I am just wrapping up, but it's been very relaxing.

First I let Howie Carr get me spooled up talking about all the corruption around me. Corruption on a local level with Gov. Patrick - "No new hires", my eye! Corruption nationwide with Chris Dodd talking smack about AIG bonuses when he was the bastid that pushed for the language that protected those very bonuses.

Then when Howie is finished aggravating me I switch to WGBH and listen to "The World". Tonight there was an interesting report on the incident in the South China sea involving USNS Impeccable. I'm not worried, ADM Keating has the watch.

When "The World" finishes educating me....I rarely get the geo-quiz......I relax with "Eric in the Evening". Eric opens every evening with Tommy Flanagan's "Peace".

So, now I am peaceful.

Happy St. Patrick's Day, SouthieBoy!

This MP3 I found at this website is the best version of an old Southie favorite for my Favorite Naval Consort.

"Southie Is My Hometown"

Why? Because toward the end you can hear some Townie trying to sing over them, lol!

'La 'le Phadraig Shona Dhuit'

I know you get as excited as these guys.
I can almost hear it now - "Píonta Guiness, le do thoil"

Someone Wanted To Remind Me...

....that I am a Navy girl.

There's been a lot of moping around here lately.

Someone thinks that I need to shake some of it off.

So we'll get back to some of my interests.....there's history.......there's politics.......there's nonsense.....

Oh and Sailors. Yes, Sailors doing good things. Especially the Sailors on the small boats. Aren't they the pushiest, most forward leaning ones? I love it.

So here we are -

"Expeditionary Training and Security Forces: Continuum of Global Engagement"

"Expeditionary training and security forces are globally engaged in building partnerships through operations that promote security cooperation. It's through this collaborative interaction and shared training with other maritime nations that we will continue to foster the foundations for long-term stability."
– Rear Adm. Carol M. Pottenger, Commander, Navy Expeditionary Combat Command

Navy Expeditionary Combat Command forces support maritime security and joint operations by supporting Combatant Commanders’ Theater Security Cooperation efforts through the delivery of timely, focused and tailored training and security to designated partner nations. Expeditionary forces provide a continuum of global engagement through interaction with partner nations to collaboratively improve the partner nations’ ability to exercise maritime sovereignty.

Supporting Maritime Security and Forward Presence
• Maritime expeditionary security forces enable maritime security by providing High Value Asset escort and embarked security through chokepoints and high threat regions, including canals, straits, and harbor approaches, and provides Sea Port of Debarkation security at various ports in the U.S. Central Command Area of Responsibility.
• Force protection in the green water environment supports maritime security. This crucial mission is supported through global deployment of units that provide a wide range of capabilities, including use of lethal and non-lethal weapons, landward and seaward security, and intelligence and communications.
Globally Engaged Through Expeditionary Training
Expeditionary training covers a wide array of missions, directly contributing to maritime security. Expeditionary forces deliver training on topics such as leadership, weapons handling and waterborne security to partner nations.
• Mobile Training Teams are task-organized and deploy to facilitate Naval Component Command engagement with partner nations.
• In support of the concept that collaborative engagements promote cooperation and deter aggression, Expeditionary forces have trained other navies how to conduct small boat maintenance, boat handling, and anti-terrorism and force protection while on deployments to Senegal, Brazil, Madagascar and Ghana. • In Africa Partnership Station, training in military working dog techniques and oil platform security training has been provided to local military forces in Tunisia, Equatorial Guinea, Nigeria and Cameroon.
• Expeditionary training is a key part of Southern Partnership Station. In February, U.S. Navy Sailors delivered sentry training to Panamanian students.

Partner nations have also received small boat navigation, train-the-trainer, boarding operations, basic engine maintenance and Search and Rescue planning in Dominican Republic, Jamaica, Barbados, Nicaragua and Colombia.

• Expeditionary training has been instrumental in the training and development of the Iraqi Marine forces.

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So I Need To Learn....

....to take my own advice and not get too excited about things.

Yesterday I wasn't numb when I woke up.

This morning I was..........oh well.

Did I tell you about Friday night, when I was giving Jen the run-down on the nutritionist? I was explaining all the stuff he said about approaching my health holistically, etc.

This leads to a discussion of all the doctors I see and all the different bits of info I am gathering from them and from the Internet.

She shakes her head - "You're a hypochondriac whore."

We killed ourselves laughing.

Sherri Explains The Stimulus Package

The Domestik Diva's morning offering in my email this morning

Explaining Obama's Government Stimulus Plan

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House.One is from Chicago , another is from Tennessee , and the third is from Minnesota .

All three go with a White House official to examine the fence.

The Minnesota contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well," he says, "I figure the job will run about $900: $400 for materials, $400 for my union crew and $100 profit for me."

The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me."

The Chicago contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, "$2,700."

The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?"

The Chicago contractor whispers back, "$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the fence."Done! replies the government official.

And that, my friends, is how the new stimulus plan will work.

Sunday At The Office

OK, first off - We're not going to get too excited. It's important to note that it's only Day 2 of magnesium.

No numbness.

That's right, I woke up this morning and while I could feel a very faint tingling, my arms/hands, legs/feet were not numb. Also, no leg cramps.

The magnesium has been low all along. Could it be that chemo aggravated a latent situation? The range of normal is 1.5 to 2.3, as listed in the Myeloma Manager. But there are other reference ranges to be found. Tufts/NEMC reference range is 1.3 to 2.1. The website ChemoCare give a range of 1.5 to 2.5.

Looked at together my 1.6/1.7 looks fine.

So I could be looking at this too hard. Today may have just been a good day. Maybe it's not the magnesium level so much as the fact that I slept a lot and it wasn't drugged. And it was deep. But, the benefits of taking the magnesium are supposed to be better sleep and no leg cramps.....and that's what I got.

I've spent the entire day reading about labs and anemia and electrolytes and reference ranges and symptoms.

Overall, it seems that I am on the right track and one of the most important things I can do is be sure to drink 2 to 3 liters of water per day. It comes up in a lot of the recommendations having to do with kidney functions.

The other thing is to eat more protein. That comes up with the CBC results - low RBC, low HCT, low HGB. Although my O2 SATs are always good. I know because I can test it right here at my desk, lol!

So altogether, it seems I need to be on Atkins, even when I am not. I am on now, but when I fall off of Atkins, I still have eat lots of protein, dark green veggies and drink lots of water. That's the best I can offer, because you know I am going to fall off. For pity's sake....my birthday is in a few days. So there will be cake....but dinner will be meat and veggies.

U.S. Petty Officer 1st Class Robert Richard McRill

From Navy CyberSpace Blog via Twitter.

Remembering U.S. Petty Officer 1st Class Robert Richard McRill

Random

So what was the over and under for Stations last night? I got there on time and made it to the 8th station before I started crying. After some momentary hysteria, I realized that if I count the ceiling tiles, I can pull myself back a little.

The plan was to go back on Atkins today....and I did, but that always makes me think that I need to have a last, great *bad* meal the night before. There were limited choices on a Friday in Lent. I was passing the Gas Tanks when I called Lobster Hut at 8:02 pm. "When do you close?", "8:30."..."Ok, can I place an order to be picked up?"...."No, you have to come in." Ok, even I don't drive that fast. Sadly, I ended up with a fish sandwich from Burger King. Jennifer said it was sad, but in that "you-are-pitiful-but-I-have-no-sympathy" voice. But seriously, shouldn't there be special consideration given to let people coming from Stations order on the phone?

I didn't take the Ambien. I took the magnesium. It's a powder, you dissolve it in boiling water and drink it..........blech! I had trouble falling asleep and woke up with a headache. But even someone as impatient as me knows we have to give it a few days.

I made it into work, but I am not working. I am surfing and blogging. I needed to show and answer the phones, so Nic could leave. My plan is to screw at 1700 on the dot.

I am not a Jefferson fan. I am an Adams girl. But this is on the money.

"Government can do something for the people only in proportion as it can do something to the people."

Greta at Kiss My Gumbo & WIST radio interviewed Brothers At War director Jake Rademacher. I have a Fandango alert telling me when it's coming to Boston. Go listen to the interview, you'll want to see it too.

My newest cousin - Griffin.

Meanie Beanie Gracie

My sister Grace called.

"Who is going with you on the 24th?"

The 24th is an appointment for another EMG at NEMC Neurology at 8 am and my quarterly check-in with Dr. Miller at 10:20.

"Well whoever it is, I figure I'll go by myself and have one of you join me around 11. Everything before that is just hanging around. I won't need anyone with me for blood work and stuff. I don't need anyone there for the EMG."

"I want to go for the EMG!"

"Why? It hurts. It would upset me to watch someone hurt you."

Evil giggle "I want to see it."

Nice. Her birthday present just got smaller.

Naval War College - Humph!

Ok, so do you know about Twitter?

So I follow some friends, some fellow bloggers, some Sailors.

And some things - as opposed to people.

I follow the USS Constitution.

I follow Boston By Foot.

I also follow the Naval War College. They drive me crazy! Constantly suggesting books and articles to read. Always telling me about lectures that sound really interesting......that I can't go to.

They torture me.

So today, they decided to follow me. Apparently to watch my sanity circle the drain.

The Air Force Rubs My Nose In It

So....you know I favor Sailors, right? I mean, criminey, you don't need top-notch reading comprehension skills to get that.

But in the interest of staying balanced, I salt the mix with some representation from the other services.

But the Air Force definitely tries my patience.

He read the post below and sent me this -

A nice Irish girl that does the Stations does not talk about decadence in public. The nuns would have a heart attack. And what's all this stuff about exfoliating? And Dead Sea Salt? When did salt become good for the skin? If you want to exfoliate, weed a garden. Putting all that goop all over you just makes you slippery and smell unnatural. You want to smell like a mango? All that is just a total waste of time and could be done with just soap and water.

Then he casually mentions that when stationed in Japan he was getting massages twice a week they were so cheap.

Humph.

My Birthday Is In Nine Days

I have bills.

I have things that need fixing around the house.

Some years I am very practical.

One year I had my parents renew all my Bostonian Society, Old South Meetinghouse, etc. memberships.

This year I want......decadence.

Body Treatments

Body Glow
A custom blended exfoliation of the body followed by hot aroma towels, oils & moisturizers.
1 hour
$80
~~~~~~~~~
Rosemary Mint Awakening Body Wrap
Your body is exfoliated, smoothed, softened and wrapped.
1 hour
$80
~~~~~~~~~
Aqua Polish
A full body exfoliation and refinement of your skin using the therapeutic benefits of marine elements (such as Dead Sea salts) along with skin conditioning oils.
1 hour
$90
~~~~~~~~~
Caribbean Therapy Spa Treatment
Treatment begins with a dry exfoliation followed by a smoothing, detoxifying seaweed masque and wrap, followed by a restorative scalp, face and body massage.
1 1/2 hours
$125
~~~~~~~~~

Now Here's A Great Idea

The market is down.

Some of our favorite charities will suffer in this economy.

How to keep them in the limelight and have some fun?

Announcing the NavyCS Industrial Average (NIA)!

A downturn in the economy does not equal a downturn in the need for charities support. Each one of us should have a plan for distributing a portion of our funds to charities. It is with that thought Bonnie and I have decided to create NIA.

The NIA is a group of stocks we purchased, hopefully near the yearly lows, that we will use as a guide to determine how much money we will donate to Project Valour IT this year.
Investing in the stock market now?! (Read the rest of the story…)

BZ Tom!

Africa Partnership Station

From Chuck at America's North Shore Journal

Africa Partnership Station

So Last Week He Made Me Cry....

....this week he makes me smile.

Last week half of the Milblogging world (and I am sure a great many other people) linked to Sippican Cottage for his story about his dad. It was a great memory he had of a day with his Dad and the post announced his father's passing. I read it, I linked it, I emailed it, I cried about it. SB was somewhere he couldn't get online and I read it to him over the phone. I concentrated on the words, not the meaning and almost made it until I got to the last line. I cleared my throat a few times until SB said "Yes, I know what it says Maggie."

Well this week there were two stories with happier tones. Although the last line of one gives me pause. I wonder if it's said with a wisterful smile or a distant look. I know sometimes when I write or tell such tales it's a coin toss.

My father loves sports and this post about the Garden brings many memories flooding back. They are somewhat different than Greg's. I don't remember going to Bruins games, maybe he took my brother Frankie, but not me. I watched with him and had to be right in front on the floor on my stomach because I wouldn't wear my glasses.

I went to lots of Celtics games, but not with my Dad, I went with my siblings. The Garden was close enough to walk. It's funny to think today that we would leave at noon and not return for hours. No one thought anything of sending two girls in their early to mid teens walking a few miles away to an afternoon game. He gets it absolutely right when he says -

"There was weather inside there. Cumulus clouds of smoke would meet the smog from the drunken exhalations and clash with the cold front coming up from Bobby Orr's ice under the rickety parquet wood floor."

Anyway, back to his post "Another Sip From My Father's Beer".

He makes me think of the Red Sox games on the radio while my Dad did things. SB and I have talked about listening to Ken Coleman on hot summer nights in our respective summer places.

As always the posts at Sippican Cottage speak to me as only one native can speak to another.

And I understand when he ends one with this - "I'd kill ten innocent men to go back there for ten minutes."

I know it's not a basketball game he is talking about.

I have tasted that sentiment. I have learned that lesson. My family will be sick of seeing me before I forget what my grandmothers passing made me realize.

I Have No Permanent Nerve Damage

No peripheral neuropathy.

No CIDP - chronic inflammatory demyelinating polyneuropathy .

No sign of nerve damage.

You see, I had to go see a specialist in Boston because Dr. Bigus Dickus got me all upset back in February. Which was actually funny because I didn't think I could get more upset than I was going in.

Six weeks into chemo (mid November) I started to experience numbness and tingling to go with my fatigue, insomnia and heartburn. Back in January I fainted at work and had to be imprisoned....I mean hospitalized for four days. The numbness and tingling progressed to pain. On January 22nd when Dr. Miller told me that chemo hadn't produced a "durable response", I told them all to screw - in the nicest possible way, of course!

I believed that the numbness, tingling and pain were a result of the dexamethesone. I knew that it would take at least two months to recede. Possibly longer because it wasn't just dex, but combined with Rev. But the symptoms got worse.

All this for cancer that isn't symptomatic??????

Anyway, I saw a local neuro who said my symptoms were the result of three unrelated diagnoses and none were the result of chemo. First he said I had a problem with my legs because of diabetic neuropathy - I told him my blood sugar results were always normal - a more extensive test proved him wrong. Next he said my insomnia was sleep apnea, lol, even though OSA *wakes* people or makes them wake unrested. My problem was the inability to fall asleep. Which Ambien had solved, so no OSA. Then he said that the pain in my hands was carpal tunnel, particularly bad in the right hand even though the pain was worse in the left....

In the middle of the EMG to *prove* to me that the carpal tunnel in my right hand required surgery he saw something he didn't like in my left arm. He abruptly stopped the test, and referred me to a specialist because he said I had CIDP.

This would be very bad because it was related to the multiple myeloma. That would mean I was not asymptomatic. It would mean I would have to go back to chemo and quickly.

I sent a fax to Dr. Miller and said that if Dr. D was wrong about diabetes, wrong about carpal tunnel and wrong about sleep apnea......why did I want to go see his specialist?

Dr. Miller chose Dr. Thaler.

Dr. Thaler asked questions, performed tests, ordered blood work, scheduled a complete EMG, since the other was stopped in the middle.

Then he asked what my concerns were. I told him that I didn't want chemo to put me in a wheelchair to fight an imaginary cancer. He asked if I had discussed with Dr. Miller that I thought my cancer was imaginary (my sister Grace was making faces across the room at me). I said yes we discussed it. He asked "Does Dr. Miller tell you that you are crazy?" I told him no, Dr. Miller was too nice and polite for that.

So, Dr. Thaler told me that I would have to find some other weapon in my fight to stave off chemotherapy. He said the chemo had caused no nerve damage, permanent or otherwise.

It may be something as simple as pernicious anemia.....vitamin B12 deficiency. But we will discover the cause.

He would not be drawn into my theory that my IGA numbers are nothing more than my body's reaction to chemical exposure in my youth.....and would never be anything else.

Grace liked him.

I am still asymptomatic and I am thrilled.

I am that much closer to going to the Milblog.

Oreos and Milk for Breakfast

I'm not stressed about the neurologist visit!

Noooooooooo, not at all! LOL

Today Was Better!

I did one of the things that always makes me feel better. I went to my parents. We had dinner, Grace & Debbie were over. We went through family albums. They chided me about my drama. Grace laughed about my mother wanting me to stop talking when I was crying. Then when my mother spoke and I thought it was bad news - I told her not to tell me. Way to communicate!

Anyway, we were laughing about a cousin of our grandmother's, Joe. Joe's mother, Maggie and my grandmother's mother, Elizabeth were sisters. My grandmother and he were close when they were young, but later didn't see each other much.

Warning - some people won't think this is funny.

One day there was a knock at the door and my mother opened it (from the time I was eleven, we lived in my grandmother's house). Mama Kelley looked over my mother's shoulder at a young man and said "Joe Conway!". He laughed and said he was Joe's grandson, but his grandfather was in the car and wanted to talk to her. After the way she recognized him, he didn't need to ask if she was his grandfather's cousin.

So Mama put on her coat and walked out to the car. Joe was on his way home from the hospital after having his leg amputated and he had insisted on being driven to Charlestown. I don't know where he lived, but he had moved away quite a while before.

Mama asked how he was and he said mournfully - "I've lost my leg." Mama said "Well you have another." Then they both laughed. He said he was so glad he had come, she was just what he needed. Mama said she was glad he came too.

Ok, now I know this is not funny to most people, but everytime we hear/tell this story we crack up.....including today. Then I noted that three of my mother's relatives had lost a leg to diabetes. We turned the page from Joe & Maggie's picture to one of my mother's grandmother. My mother said "Look, it's another one of my one-legged relatives".

If you complained to Mama about anything, she would laugh or poke fun. I can remember telling her I had a headache and she told me it might be a brain tumor. She never pandered to my overly dramatic nature.

One time my Uncle Jim came in and was very rushed and harried. He was talking a mile a minute, complaining about something while he made a meatloaf sandwich. Just as he went to take a bite he asked if it had onions because she knew onions gave him heartburn. Mama said no. I was startled, there were always onions in the meatloaf - always. After he inhaled the sandwich in three quick bites, he cleaned up his plate, kissed Mama and left. I looked at her and before I could say a word she said "If he gets heartburn, it's because he ate too fast."

A complete lack of sympathy with sarcastic people - it was just what I needed. Plus they told me the right thing about Stations - my mother, Jennifer, Grace....all said "If it upsets you, don't go." Knowing I would say "Well, no, I can't stop going." LOL! Reverse psychology at work.

When I poured my heart out to SB about not being kind or understanding or patient he spoke to me as he would to comfort a child. He said in his best, most comforting voice "But Maggie, honey, you were never patient." Right. How ridiculous for me to think that cancer and adversity would make me a better person, lol.

What If Maggie Lost Her Mind...........

...........would anyone notice?

Kinda like "If a tree fell in the forest.............."

I'm not helping myself sitting in the dark listening to Grieg and Barber.

It's been such a roller coaster. I am getting nauseous.

Last night I knew I had to get to sleep early because I had to be in work unusually early. Special projects. So at 2130 I took two Ambien. I was asleep by 2200. I use the phone as an alarm. This morning when I woke up to shut off the tone.......I saw that I had made a phone call at 2254.........for 63 minutes.

Shit.

But I did make it to work on time. I had two Medicare webinars on different subjects. I was ready to tear my hair out. It was a frantic, busy, aggravating day.

Someone sent me a wonderful email today and I can't answer her.

At 1600 I realized that I had eaten nothing substantial since breakfast, I dashed out and grabbed something. At least I understood why I was so shaky.

I left earlier for Stations this week.....and got there later. Traffic. Anyway, I arrived at the sixth Station. I managed not to start crying until the 14th. Better than last week.

When I got to the car there was voice mail from my son Tom. "Hey, I just called to say hi and I love you." then the horrid put on southern accent "and Jesus does too!". I stopped crying and laughed. My son is really funny and his imitations are very good.

I drove down to Friendly's to get an ice cream soda and something for my parents. Who is in Friendly's at 2000 on a Friday night? Why, the Lamaze class that just let out. I am not kidding. I waited forever while pregnant women waffled about what ice cream to get. The staff was so frazzled that when they gave me chocolate ice cream for my father instead of chocolate chip, I just took it and ran.

There was a wake at Carr's so I ended up parked illegally and just ran down to my parent's house.

My mother was eating ice cream when I walked in. Of course.

I went upstairs to hand my father a spoon. "What destroyer class started with "S"?"
I pull out the phone and dialed SB. I repeated the question with no preamble. "What?" I repeated it. "Sims". I repeated that to my father. He made the "You've-just-said-something-ridiculous" face and shook his head. "You're wrong." I said into the phone. A very puffed up SB barked "Sez who?!" That was funnier than my son's fake drawl! "My father." A much quieter, "Oh." I hang up, walk down the stairs. At the foot of the stairs my cell rings, I see who is calling and laugh as I answer. "Spruance!" he says triumphantly. I call the answer up to my father. "That's right!" he replies. I tell SB "Good job" and hang up.

My mother tells me to sit down. I know I look wild eyed and my face is tear stained. I tell her I can't, I'm parked illegally. I start to leave and I stop at the front door. I tell her Stations is killing me. I start to choke up. She tries to stop me, but she also asks what I mean. I tell her Stations points out what I am doing wrong and I am ashamed.

Despair is sin you know. I am acutely aware of that.

I tell her it's ok. She tells me that my cousin is pregnant and I smile and say that's good. I leave.

I get a text from Jennifer scolding me from going and upsetting them. Clearly my mother called her as soon as I was out the door.

All my problems started six weeks into chemo.

It's been six weeks since I've stopped chemo.

Why isn't it any better?

I Am So Disappointed!

You didn't vote enough! I told you that you could vote over and over. Why didn't you?????

America's Beautiful National Parks Quarter Dollar

USS Constitution didn't win!!!! WTF? Over

'Man at the Wheel' gets state's nod for quarter
In online voting over a three-week period last month, the Man at the Wheel, a tribute to the men who have lost their lives at sea, trounced 100 other nationally recognized historical sites in Massachusetts to gain the distinction. The Gloucester statue collected 109,817 votes, more than four times as many as the Lowell National Historic Park, which took second place with 26,582 votes, according to results provided by Gov. Deval Patrick’s office.Third place was Salem’s House of Seven Gables, with 10,028 votes and fourth place went to the U.S.S. Constitution in Boston, which pulled in 8,890.

Clearly people from Gloucester found a more efficient way to cheat other than voting every 20 seconds as I encouraged you to do.

March 5, 1770

On March 5, 1770, British soldiers killed 5 men on the streets of Boston in what would become know as the Boston Massacre. In honor of the 239 th anniversary of this revolutionary event,
The Bostonian Society will present the following programs:

Friday March 6, 2009
Historic Voices: Echoing Boston Patriots at Old South Meeting House
6:30pm – 8:00pm
In the years that followed the Boston Massacre, citizens crowded the halls of Old South Meeting House on the anniversary of the infamous event to hear the moving words of Boston’s greatest orators. These speeches were evocative, passionate, and intended to stir the people of Boston into rebellion. Their inspirational messages about freedom and democracy still ring true today. Join us to hear students from Boston Latin School dramatize the eloquent words of orators such as John Hancock, Joseph Warren, and John Rock. Robert Allison, history professor at Suffolk University and author of The Boston Massacre, will narrate the event. Free; at Old South Meeting House, 310 Washington Street , Boston, MA 02108

Saturday March 7, 2009
Little Redcoats: Kids Reenact the Massacre
11:00am – 11:30am and 2:00 pm – 2:30pm
Young visitors will be the stars in a reenactment of the Boston Massacre led by rangers from the Adams National Historical Park. Free; on the mall outside of the Old State House.

Trial of the Century
11:30am – 12:30pm and 2:30 pm – 3:30pm
Watch John Adams defend the British soldiers accused of murdering Bostonians. Self-defense or cold-blooded murder? You decide as audience members are invited to act as jurors for this celebrated case. Program led by rangers from the Adams National Historical Park. Free with museum admission; in the Old State House.

Boston Massacre Reenactment
7:00 pm-7:45 pm
See the event that sparked the Revolution! Local reenactment groups will portray the infamous incident outside the Old State House. Free.

People In My Email

First - Trish

"Are you at work?"

"Yes."

She comes by work and gives me a basket of M&Ms and Coke. WTF? We agreed no christmas presents, so she held off on this. She held off until she needed to be on a diet and she needed it to be gone.

So, of course, I opened it and the girls in the office were happy!

Then Trish emails again and says "If we are going to the movies and I am staying "on" what should I smuggle in?"

Hello! You knock me off of Atkins with Coke & M&Ms and you want me to help you to stay on? Efffff off!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Then the Air Force sends me a link to a Lou Dobbs cut on immigration that upset him.

"Attached is a CNN report on amnesty. Kinda makes your blood boil."

"Why would I want my blood to boil?"

"I don't know...it's just an expression. But if you did boil it, you could get out all those nasty things in there."

Excuse me?

"I like the nasty things in my brain......so do you."

You all do too...or you wouldn't keep coming back.

Sippican Cottage

I met this guy in December of '07 at a local blogger's meetup.

I pop in once in a while, but it took the Armorer to draw my attention to this.

My Father Asks For Nothing

Why? Why? Why Didn't My Bad Boyfriend Win?

Senate Rejects McCain Earmark Amendment to Omnibus
By Paul Kane
The Senate rejected in bipartisan fashion today a proposal by John McCain (R-Ariz.), the 2008 GOP presidential nominee, that would have flattened government spending and gutted almost $7.7 billion worth of narrow spending projects inserted into catch-all funding legislation that will keep federal agencies running through September.

Receiving just 32 votes for his amendment, McCain was defeated as 54 members of the Senate Democratic caucus and nine Republicans opposed his proposal to leave funding at its current levels and strip the 9,000 congressionally designated projects commonly known as earmarks. Instead, the Senate remains on track to pass the $410 billion legislation, which cobbles together nine of the dozen annual spending bills that are leftover from last year's congressional agenda. The current short-term funding resolution expires Saturday, so Senate Majority Leader Harry M. Reid (D-Nev.) is trying to get the omnibus legislation approved without any amendments, allowing it to go to the White House for President Obama's signature without having to send it back to the House, which approved the measure last week.

Obama, who campaigned on a pledge that he would roughly halve the number of earmarks in appropriation measures, has said he will sign the omnibus bill while indicating to Democratic leaders last week that he would like to see more reform and transparency in how these provisions are handled in the spending bills up for consideration later this year.

McCain ridiculed Obama for saying he would sign the legislation, arguing that the money would be better spent on more meaningful tasks at a time of national and international crisis. "So much -- so much -- for the promise of change," he said in a floor speech yesterday.

Critics contend that earmarks are wasteful and encourage corruption because many of them are sponsored by members of Congress who also receive contributions from the contractors who receive them and their lobbyists. Supporters, such as House Majority Leader Steny Hoyer (D-Md.), maintain that the Constitution gives Congress the power of the purse to spend money and individual lawmakers are more keenly aware of the spending needs in their districts than bureaucrats in federal agencies.

At a weekly briefing for reporters today, Hoyer said any opposition from Obama to the $410 billion legislation based on the earmarks would have created "needless disagreement" with Congress and set up a showdown.

Despite their relatively small portion of the $1 trillion in discretionary funding for the federal government, earmarks have become a rallying cry for conservatives looking to shrink the size of the federal government and reform-minded Democrats, including Sens. Russell Feingold (Wis.) and Evan Bayh (Ind.), who supported the McCain measure today.

The overall total of earmarks in the omnibus under consideration this week is less than 2 percent of the legislation's entire cost. Full-year funding for the Pentagon, its military bases and the Department of Homeland Security was approved last fall. When earmarks from that legislation are included with this week's bill, the total value of the projects rises to more than $14 billion

Is It A HIPAA Violation If I Do It?

So when I told them I wanted to stop the chemo, the point they pressed the hardest was that my IGA would shoot up. That I would be that much further behind when I went back to chemo - which I am not at all sure I will do.

My point all along has been that my numbers, like everything else about my cancer has not followed the rules.

06/10/2008 - 5948
08/21/2008 - 4940
09/17/2008 - 5850
All of those fluctuations are without meds. Normal is 70-350
11/20/2008 - 3310 (on meds from 10/01/08 to 11/20/08 - 2 rounds)
12/12/2008 - 4164 ) off meds for 22 days instead of the 7 it was supposed to be, there were mixups between the pharmacy and the doctor
01/22/2009 - 3340 (on meds 12/15/08 to 01/22/09
02/25/2009 - 3464 (off meds 01/23/09 to present.

In my last face-to-face visit with Dr. H, on January 29th he cited the jump of 854 points between November 20, 2008 and December 12, 2008. 854 points in just 22 days.

I countered with the fact that it dropped 1,008 points between June 10, 2008 and August 21, 2008 for no reason.

My point? I have proof here that I am right.....you never know.

I am comfortable with my decision to suspend for two months and depending on the results that come in on March 25th.....I may extend it.

After all, I still have to figure out all the neurological stuff that has happened since taking Rev & Dex.

More On Wilders & Fitna

Solomonia has put up a post with the video from Mr. Wilders appearance in Stoughton last Wednesday.

Video: Geert Wilders in Boston

He also has a link to an interview with Rabbi Jon Hausman. Rabbi Hausman introduced Mr. Wilders and had some remarks of his own. I was very impressed with him after just those few words and I was happy to have the opportunity to learn more.

As always there are plenty of interesting discussions going on at Sol's place. Not the least of which includes a long back and forth about Mr. Wilder's views.

I slapped down the lone troll. But then, I'm kind of in a mood today.

I'm Late With This

Last week I encouraged everyone to watch "Taking Chance".

I did too.

It's a very powerful movie.

I wasn't the only one to think so. This was from a review at "The New York Post"

"Taking Chance," though, a work of transcendent sorrow and infinite dignity, was watched by two million viewers on its first HBO showing last Saturday, the best figure for an HBO original movie in five years."

Stations

I made it up to Stations of the Cross at St. Francis by the second station. I came out of work to a flat tire. It keeps going low, probably a leaking valve. I'll get it fixed soon. Meanwhile there is some compressor thing in the warehouse that I can easily use and I just lose a few minutes.

I have attended Stations at other churches once or twice in my life. But I'm not good with change. I always come back to Father Mahoney. This is not to say that things don't change there as well. There is a part at the beginning of each station where the priest says "We adore you Oh Christ and we praise You." and the reply used to be "Because by Your Cross & Resurrection you have Redeemed the world" This was was changed to "Because by Your Cross & Resurrection you have saved the world". It was changed about 10 years ago, maybe more. I've just about got the hang of it. LOL

There have been other changes. When I was in grade school, the upper Church would be packed during the 3 pm service with all my fellow students and others who preferred an afternoon service. When I was an adult I went to the 7 pm service. As you can imagine attendance has declined over the years. In some ways I am sorry and in others I am not. Many of those who are not there didn't want to be in the first place. They didn't really participate and in some cases distracted.

During Stations you are supposed to contemplate the suffering Christ endured for our sins. It's easier to do so with less ambient noise.

A few years ago Stations was moved down to the smaller Chapel under the Church. It's much harder to sneak in late, lol. But I am beyond getting in trouble for being late. Father knows I travel a good distance to be there and after being close to me for over forty years....he is no longer surprised by my occasional tardiness. I hope he knows that I make more of an effort for him that for nearly anyone else.

Normally Stations is a very pleasant contemplative time for me. I cherish the rituals of my Church. I love looking up and seeing Father Mahoney, just as I did in 1969, 1979, 1989, 1999 and tonight. As he has aged and I see how he suffers from painful arthritis, sometimes my heart simply aches for him. There he is, carrying on for us, when at his age and in his condition, no one would blame him for taking an easier path.

So there I was in the front pew, taking a moment to settle in for the third station. To feel the familiar surroundings envelope me. I am home again in a safe, secure place. I always feel good, no matter what problem weighs on my mind outside those doors. I let go and I go with the words and the genuflecting and the standing and the kneeling. I hear and speak about Christ's suffering. I am encouraged to think of His suffering when I have problems of my own.

Stations is easily my favorite thing in the Catholic Church. Not Christmas. Not Easter.

And then I start to cry. Just a little. Nothing embarrassing. Although I am completely horrified by my lack of control. My crying is not noticeable to others. But I am crying steadily and I can not stop. I keep my head down, When Father Mahoney passes in front of me I pretend to read the booklet. I don't need to, I know the responses. Normally I would look up and meet his eyes and smile. Normally I am happy and grateful and warm.

But the words are getting to me. The words to bear my suffering and hardships like Christ. To remember His suffering in light of our own minor problems.

The words are making me face it. I haven't been good. I haven't been kind. I haven't tried to model my behaviour after His.

I can't turn away. I can't ignore it. I have not been good or kind or understanding. I certainly haven't been patient.

Father Mahoney has always been able to look at me and see everything. If I raise my head and he sees my eyes, I will be lost.

Then Stations ended and the Benediction began. Father moves up onto the Altar. The Altar server is holding the thurible. The fragrant cloud is settling over us. I have to concentrate on my Latin and this gives some other part of my brain the chance to pull itself together.

I don't hang to say "Hi" to Joan or other people I know. I get to my car as quickly as possible and let the sound of the rain on the roof calm me.

I certainly didn't pop down to see my parents.

From The GOP Soapbox

Edward Agner points out this Wall Street Journal article.

The 2% Illusion

Take everything they earn, and it still won't be enough

President Obama has laid out the most ambitious and expensive domestic agenda since LBJ, and now all he has to do is figure out how to pay for it. On Tuesday, he left the impression that we need merely end "tax breaks for the wealthiest 2% of Americans," and he promised that households earning less than $250,000 won't see their taxes increased by "one single dime."

This is going to be some trick. Even the most basic inspection of the IRS income tax statistics shows that raising taxes on the salaries, dividends and capital gains of those making more than $250,000 can't possibly raise enough revenue to fund Mr. Obama's new spending ambitions.

Consider the IRS data for 2006, the most recent year that such tax data are available and a good year for the economy and "the wealthiest 2%." Roughly 3.8 million filers had adjusted gross incomes above $200,000 in 2006. (That's about 7% of all returns; the data aren't broken down at the $250,000 point.) These people paid about $522 billion in income taxes, or roughly 62% of all federal individual income receipts. The richest 1% -- about 1.65 million filers making above $388,806 -- paid some $408 billion, or 39.9% of all income tax revenues, while earning about 22% of all reported U.S. income.

Note that federal income taxes are already "progressive" with a 35% top marginal rate, and that Mr. Obama is (so far) proposing to raise it only to 39.6%, plus another two percentage points in hidden deduction phase-outs. He'd also raise capital gains and dividend rates, but those both yield far less revenue than the income tax. These combined increases won't come close to raising the hundreds of billions of dollars in revenue that Mr. Obama is going to need.

But let's not stop at a 42% top rate; as a thought experiment, let's go all the way. A tax policy that confiscated 100% of the taxable income of everyone in America earning over $500,000 in 2006 would only have given Congress an extra $1.3 trillion in revenue. That's less than half the 2006 federal budget of $2.7 trillion and looks tiny compared to the more than $4 trillion Congress will spend in fiscal 2010. Even taking every taxable "dime" of everyone earning more than $75,000 in 2006 would have barely yielded enough to cover that $4 trillion.

Fast forward to this year (and 2010) when the Wall Street meltdown and recession are going to mean far few taxpayers earning more than $500,000. Profits are plunging, businesses are cutting or eliminating dividends, hedge funds are rolling up, and, most of all, capital nationwide is on strike. Raising taxes now will thus yield far less revenue than it would have in 2006.

Mr. Obama is of course counting on an economic recovery. And he's also assuming along with the new liberal economic consensus that taxes don't matter to growth or job creation. The truth, though, is that they do. Small- and medium-sized businesses are the nation's primary employers, and lower individual tax rates have induced thousands of them to shift from filing under the corporate tax system to the individual system, often as limited liability companies or Subchapter S corporations. The Tax Foundation calculates that merely restoring the higher, Clinton-era tax rates on the top two brackets would hit 45% to 55% of small-business income, depending on how inclusively "small business" is defined. These owners will find a way to declare less taxable income.

The bottom line is that Mr. Obama is selling the country on a 2% illusion. Unwinding the U.S. commitment in Iraq and allowing the Bush tax cuts to expire can't possibly pay for his agenda. Taxes on the not-so-rich will need to rise as well.

On that point, by the way, it's unclear why Mr. Obama thinks his climate-change scheme won't hit all Americans with higher taxes. Selling the right to emit greenhouse gases amounts to a steep new tax on most types of energy and, therefore, on all Americans who use energy. There's a reason that Charlie Rangel's Ways and Means panel, which writes tax law, is holding hearings this week on cap-and-trade regulation.

Mr. Obama is very good at portraying his agenda as nothing more than center-left pragmatism. But pragmatists don't ignore the data. And the reality is that the only way to pay for Mr. Obama's ambitions is to reach ever deeper into the pockets of the American middle class.
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Interesting reading - Thanks Edward!

Disgusting

Officials: Pentagon OKs media photos of war dead

Words can not convey my disappointment with SECDEF Gates.

Of course, that asshat Kerry, my junior Senator was one of the two assclowns asking for the ban to be lifted.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?

Everyone is screaming that Corporate CEOs make too much in compensation. People are appalled that companies are paying executive huge salaries while laying off workers.

Obama's answer?

Obama Spending Plan Would Cap Military, Federal Pay Raises

Yeah, 'cause everyone knows that our military leaders are overcompensated and that's the problem with the economy.

Yeah, thank God "The One" is here to save us.

*sigh* YGTBFKM

"Pay for men and women in uniform is to be increased by 2.9 percent, an amount described in the budget summary as reflecting "the priorities of an administration that is committed to caring for the service members who protect our security and the families who support them."

Last year, military personnel received a 3.9 percent pay increase, half a percentage point more than President George W. Bush recommended."

Mr. Wilders

Thank you Ahavath Torah Congregation for affording us the opportunity to hear Mr. Wilders.

Jen and I went together. We sat with Miss Kelly of MissKelly's Typad and her very nice spouse. We met with Fran, who does something with Republicans on Cape Cod. I got to see Jill of "Business of Life".

Originally Jen hesitated about going. Mr. Wilders had been on Bill O'Reilly and Jen assumed we would get no where near the place. I assured her that I had a connection. Although in the end, we were early enough to have scored seats on our own.

Jen informed me that people were pointing at us. It was after all a conservative Synagogue in Stoughton. The two Irish girls from Charlestown with dark smudges (you know Father Mahoney makes us look like chimney sweeps!) kinda stood out.

After the lecture was over a woman in the congregation came up to Jen, tapped her arm and thanked her for coming out to this presentation considering it was a Holy Day for us. You know I really can't think of a better way to celebrate Ash Wednesday than reinforcing our support of Israel and our stand against religious intolerance.

The Rabbi stood up and made some opening remarks in which he pointed out that this was not a new thing....America fighting Islamic extremism. He brought up the Barbary pirates and the USN Navy and President Adams......everywhere I go there is a Navy connection! He mangled the Marine hymn, but we forgive him (Psst - it's "to the shores of Tripoli"). After all, he was the reason Mr. Wilders was there.

Then they screened Fitna. I leaned toward Jen, "Have you seen this before?" She hadn't. "Well get ready, it's tough to take." The film received a standing ovation.

Geert Wilders came out on stage (together with his security - which sadly he does indeed need). He was also the recipient of a standing ovation.

He spoke of Europe's dangerous complacent slide into submission to an Islamist state. It is so chilling. He implored us to fight for Freedom of Speech. To fight for out ally, Europe. He reminded us that we had saved them from Nazism and Communism. He wrapped up his speech with the story of General McAuliffe......he wants us all to stand up to those who would push the multi-culti nonsense down our throats. To stand up to those who would say we are xenophobes and racists and to reply in the spirit of McAuliffe and say "Nuts!"

On our way a out a woman tapped Jen's arm. "You have something on your forehead." I laughed thinking she was joking. Jen answered "Yeah, it belongs there." The woman looked confused and repeated again that really, she had something on her head. Jen said "We're Catholic." She was quizzical and more perplexed when she saw my forehead. "It's Ash Wednesday." I said, trying to help.....but still I was laughing. I know I lived a sheltered life. I have just never had to explain Ash Wednesday to a stranger. I have non-Catholic friends who have asked some particular questions, but they have not found the concept completely foreign for Heaven's sake!

Anyway, it was lots of fun and Sol of Solomonia and Michael Graham of WTKK are sorry they weren't with us!

What should you take away from this? Don't be complacent. Exercise and protect you freedoms. Mr. Wilders will appear at the the US Capitol and propose a world wide 1st Amendment.

If you have never seen Fitna, you must watch it.

OK Class....We Have A Project.

Honor Their Service is a having a fundraiser. It's a cookbook. We're going to talk it up and gather recipes and raise funds for a good cause.

Carrie wrote to several of us -

"I'm writing this as the President of Honor Their Service, Inc., We are just starting out as an organization but we've been around for several years now doing projects like Operation Santa at the Hospitals and Operation Fresh Air.

Our events have always been modest proposals. They do not require lots of money to execute.
We are budgeting about $500 to put on one Operation Fresh Air (that's a day of fishing, food and fellowship at Leesylvania State Park for wounded/injured servicemembers and their families at Walter Reed and Bethesda).

What we did in the past was ask cooperating milbloggers to help us raise funds on the internet..
As a pending 501c3 (we are just waiting for the damned exemption letter), we are licensed to fundraise in the states of Maryland and Virginia and have decided to go a slightly different route.

The reason why I'm writing to you all is that we have a fundraising idea that we could use your help with:
A milbloggers' cookbook. Recipes could come from the bloggers themselves, their families or commenters.
Honor Their Service, inc, will compile and sell the cookbooks. Pricing is going to depend on how many recipes we receive and the format (soft cover, hard cover, 3 ring binder)

We can include pictures of bloggers and commenters alike.. (Please Lord, no speedos, okay? I have a phobia).

This cookbook could be a very nice keepsake as well as making a donation to supporting wounded/injured servicemembers and their families.

Would you all please consider asking your readership to submit recipes (as well as your own favorites) to be included in the cookbook? Details to follow (deadlines, etc.,) but I wanted to throw out the request first to see if there is any interest.

Thanks in advance.
Carrie Costantini
President, Honor Their Service, Inc."
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So, think of some good recipes, come up with a pic......details will follow.

Which brings us to the Milbloggers Conference. Last weekend in April in DC. I am hoping to be there. I know, you're excited. You want to pinch yourself at the thought that maybe you could actually meet me......get a grip.

Can't I Do Anything....

....like everyone else???

I have heard and read lots of stories about Ambien giving people nightmares. I took it Saturday, Sunday and Monday....worked like a charm. I was happy as a clam (never knew what that one meant). But anyway....

Last night I was home before 9. I was going to watch something or read something, take an Ambien and go to sleep early. Then get up early for Mass (today is Ash Wednesday).

I fell asleep on the couch and woke up too late to take the Ambien (you need to sleep 8 hours). So i just went to bed...........

And couldn't sleep all night and when I did, I had nightmares.

Great! Other people have nightmares on Ambien.

i have them when I don't take it.

Of course.