So, you know the house is constantly full of smelly, stinky boys, right? Playing video games, using every towel, dish and glass in the house, leaving takeout wrappers everywhere. The whole nine. One might look upon this and say "What a load of useless carbon based lifeforms!"
Last night I left the gym a little after midnight. I stopped at the intersection to watch a construction project at the mall. They are building a bridge over the entryway. It's all lit up and I find it interesting. As you can imagine the industrial park is fairly empty at the hour especially with the mall entrance closed for the contruction.
I saw one vehicle, a bronco-kinda-thing. He wizzed by me at a high rate of speed from left to right and on he went. After a moment I turned right and followed in his direction. As I approached the light, the bronco was stopped..............at the green light up ahead. I approached at a reasonable speed, expecting him to move. He didn't. He put on his left turn signal, but didn't move. He shut off the turn signal. So I passed him on his left.
No harm, no foul. I wasn't close, this road is new and straight and wide with a slight elevation. I watched him in my rear view mirror and as I approached the next light, he began to move. Fast. He came flying up behind me. He didn't turn onto the highway. He didn't pull into the gas station. He didn't turn right at the light I was now going through. He followed me to the left.
Now he is right on my bumper. As I round the next curve, I call Frankie.
"Hey, Mum, what up?"
"Where are you?"
"At the crib. Why?" Did I mention my son is not a famous rap star, but he talks the talk? Sometimes they have me doing it too. I explain my situation and that I might just be paranoid, but I believe he is following me. He asks for my specific location and ETA. We hang up.
I catch the next light, but not the one after. It's two lanes, he pulls up beside me. My windows are down, so is his.
"Hey, what is your motherfuckin' problem?"
I roll through the red light. A cop might be nice about now. But then I start to giggle. A cop might be lucky for him! I keep going, he's still on my bumper.
I make the turn into the Lane off of the main road. This is the only road in and out of my neighborhood. My neighborhood is clearly different from the rest of the town in many ways. Cut off by the railroad bridge. A thin finger of land between the ocean and the river. It's history as a summer community kept it from meshing with the town. So when you say where you're from to the other residents it defintely conjures an image. For some, fun in the sun.....for others...something else. During the transition from summer community to winter community, from life with septic tanks to life with town sewerage.....things got a little rough.
Maybe my tailgater was thinking that. Maybe he got a phone call. Maybe he saw another target of opportunity. Who knows, but whatever it was he banged a what started out as a u-turn and turned into a sloppy 3-point turn as soon as we turned into the Lane. LOL
I cross the railroad bridge and go to my house, a half a mile beyond. I turn the last corner and see my house.
Cars are pulling up, disgorging boys. Frankie and Bill are standing in the front yard.
I pull up - alone. I tell them where he turned away. They laugh. Cars load back up.
If only that guy knew how lucky he was! He would buy a lottery ticket.
I am not advocating violence. But I think I have to bring home pizza tonight.