Monday, December 29, 2008

I Used To Be Smart

I don't mean like Einstein....but like Yogi "smarter than the average" Bear.

Friday evening while I waited for Jen, I flipped on Jeopardy for about ten minutes. I didn't get a single question. I finally had to shut it off when I couldn't identify duetsche marks as the name of German currency before euros. I've been to Germany, I literally have marks in my house in a scrap book.

I doubt I could possibly convey how distressing this is.

I am not keeping up with reading things I am interested in. Things I feel I should keep on top of.

I fear I am losing control of my plan of care.

I am having problems remembering the Revlimid. I figured it was stress. I figured I was just stressing myself out.

The other day I was on the IMF website and I was looking through the webcasts. I opened the one about the "Myeloma Manager". They were explaining that it would help keep track of test results and doctors visits, etc. I was very open to the idea because after just six months I have several files and stuff online. There's stuff in my car and my desk at work and my nightstand.

Then they said "How many of you have had trouble following the oral drug regimen? Did I take the pill yet today?"

I started to cry at my desk.

I'm not just walllowing. I downloaded it. I am going to use it.

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