Go here and read this nonsense at Tom Rick's Foreign Policy column. It's a guest post. I'll wait.
Letter from Iraq: When you’re the 'battle buddy' unexpectedly in trouble
CAPT Mills squanders an opportunity to write about several important issues....deployment stress....the importance of "battle buddies"....the strain on a marriage of multiple deployments....just to air his own dirty laundry. His overwhelming need to collect a pound of flesh is disgusting.
Whatever happened in his marriage wasn't just his wife's fault and it wasn't caused by the deployment. Deployments exacerbate underlying problems. It takes two for everything in a marriage, good and bad. But this jackass decided that he needed to throw his wife under the bus.
Here's the deal - when you have children...THEY are your first responsibility. Your wounded feelings that you indulge here under the very thin guise of some kind of "let me show you my pain so others may benefit"...is a total disservice to those children.
Others may read your letter and call it bravery, but you aren't fooling me. You aren't some lonely wounded soldier reaching out from the depths of pain during deployment. You are a public affairs officer who knows exactly what he is doing. This letter is completely calculated, months after the fact to hold the mother of your children up to public ridicule.
I don't care who did what. I don't care if you are hurt. I don't give a rip that you are deployed.
You are less than a man. You are a child. A bitter, selfish child.
I hope it was worth it because you are the one who must look in the mirror and see that sorry reflection.
This really brings back unpleasant memories for me. When my ex and I were divorcing, we were mandated to attend these stupid group sessions on how to deal with your spouse so your children weren't further traumatized. We didn't need it. We were adults. We worked our own shit out. Better than that...we were friends. We still are. But we couldn't get the divorce with out attending. Sitting in that room listening to stupid people say stupid things almost killed me! I finally raised my hand and told them they were driving me crazy. One woman told us that every night she set a place at the table for her ex. She said he often came by and criticized her parenting skills and it made her feel bad. I looked her right in the eye and said "My grandmother always said people only do to you what you let them do to you. So if he makes you feel bad, you are letting him. So stop and stop setting a place for him." I went on and just as I was winding down, the custodian came in and said someone had left their lights on in a gray Buick and their battery was dying. Well, wouldn't you know it....it was my car. So I ended with "that's me and if my battery is dead, you know what I am going to do? I'm going to call my ex. Then he and his girlfriend will come down and jump the car. And they will probably know without asking that I need M&Ms and she will bring a bag. We get along because that is what is good for my children." And I walked out.
That's what you do when you have children Capt Mills, you suck it up and put you petty grievances aside. You lick your wounds in PRIVATE and you put on a game face for your children's sake.
So tonight when you get on your knees and pray to whatever Deity that you sorely disappointed with this letter - thank him that I am not your wife's sister, cousin or friend. Because I would belt you if you did this to someone I loved. I hope she has brothers. Mean brothers. Or better, a vicious sister like me.