I'm Like A Two Year Old - Why? Why? Why?

By coincidence I walked over two bridges today that gave me some insight into questions I would come to ask later this evening.

I bought something at Radio Shack for my Dad, it wasn't right and needed to be returned. So I walked through Thompson Square, over the Prison Point (Gilmore) Bridge, crossed McGrath Highway and over a little bridge that spans the Lechmere Canal. The Galleria Mall is right on the other side. It's just over a mile, very pleasant, sunny, warm.....but you can feel fall right underneath it, know what I mean?

Anyhow, this evening I attended a meeting if the Charlestown Neighhood Council down at the Knights.

Now everything from here forward is my opinion and my understanding of the situation. It's not reporting, I could have some stuff wrong. It was my first meeting on this subject and there have been many others.

It was hosted by the Real Estate Project Development and Transportation subcommittees of the CNC and the guests were representatives from Boston Transportation Department (BTD). Also in attendance were planners and subcontractors who are trying to come up with solutions to traffic problems in Charlestown. In particular, Sullivan Square, Rutherford Ave and Austin St/Prison Point Bridge.

I'll be posting more about this and attending all future meetings when possible. But for now let me posit an answer to one of the many "Why?s" that came up for me and others.

The BTD plans suggest that Rutherford Ave become a total surface road. Right now there are two underpasses. The BTD plan fills in those tunnels.

There is my first "Why?". We were told that less than a quarter of the current traffic travels through the underpasses. That if we fill them in, these vehicles will be forced to the surface. So....why add any cars? Even if it is a small percentage?

We were told that it would allow for shorter pedestrian crossings. Right now crossing from
Austin Street to the Prison Point Bridge/Community College buildings and T station runs about 200 or so feet. Now remember - I just made this trek today. It will be shortened approximately 100 or so feet to about 90 feet. Also, there will be better sidewalks and Rutherford Avenue will be a boulevard with green space, trees and parking spaces.

Ok, my next "Why?" - why is that a fair trade? You add all those cars/trucks from the underpass to the surface congestion to get a shorter crosswalk and some trees? One woman called out "Quality of life" when I was questioning this. Listen, if Cancer Girl here can make it across from Austin Street to the Bridge side.....almost anyone can.

The real answer came out from another question - What costs the City of Boston less - closing the underpasses or leaving them open? Closing them is cheaper.....I'm sorry....more cost effective.

Ahhhh, I see.

After the meeting I spoke informally to some of the other attendees. Their "Why?s" included "Who cares about multiple crosswalks that take us to the industrialized side of Rutherford Avenue? Who cares about parking spaces along Rutherford Avenue?"

Here is where my afternoon trip came in.
This picture is the Lechmere Canal Park from the overpass near the Cambridgeside Galleria.
This is about the midway point of the Prison Point/Gilmore Bridge about a quarter mile north of the first picture.

When I was young the top picture and the whole of the 2nd picture was a mess. All industrial and bleak and weedy. But now development, landscaped public spaces, new condos and office space have crept from the Charles River north toward Charlestown.

Can you see the chain link fence separating the landscaped area from the wild area? That wild industrial area stretches to Rutherford Avenue.

Now, why would you want Rutherford Avenue to be an attractive boulevard connected to Charlestown as opposed to the highway-esque scar that cuts this wild area off from Charlestown, one of the hottest residential neighborhoods in the city?

I'm not against development. Go ahead, build condos and office space and create jobs and landscape your way all the way from that chain link fence to the other side of Rutherford Ave.

But........

Don't pretend it's for us. Don't pretend there isn't lots of benefit to the City (more development/bigger tax base).

And don't try to do it on the cheap - keeping the underpasses costs more, but it is a bigger benefit to the Town.

Saturday From The Rose Kennedy Greenway

So, you have seen all the pics in the papers and on TV and on Howie Carr's page of #OccupyBoston on the rose Fitzgerald Greenway. But they are only on part of the Greenway. For those who don't know what the Greenway is, it's this public space that came about when they put the Expressway underground. The elevated highway that used to put this area in shadow all day was named after Rose's father, "Honey Fitz". And rose's son, Ted secured most of the pork to fund "The Big Dig", so I guess I am ok with the name, lol.

Anyway, I had been tweeting about #OccupyBoston. Some of their Twitter supporters said that couldn't talk about it if I didn't go myself. So Friday night and Saturday morning I did - two separate visits mind you......Princess Crabby doesn't camp.

I have no good pics from Friday night despite the fact that I used the flash, it was just the cell phone and not the camera. Plus it was raining and everything was blurry. By raining, I mean that at times it was like standing under a waterfall. I saw filth and garbage and ruined plantings. There were people dancing under a tarp and playing music and chewing up all the grass. There was every kind of tent and shanty. And there was a 3rd world stench. They are going to be lucky if no one gets cholera or malaria.

Saturday morning I walked from Aquarium on the Blue Line to South Station for the Red Line.

This is how it looks Little parks, all different but connected between traffic intersections.
A world of difference from when I was a little girl. Just lovely.
And at the last intersection, just before crossing Congress Street to where the #OccupyBoston encampment is, I found this guy -
"We honor those who serve" I introduced myself and asked why he was there. He said he wasn't there to pick a fight. But that the story of some from the #OccupyBoston camp verbally and physically assaulting a uniformed member of the Coast Guard has moved him to act. He said he was there in solidarity with her.
The first thing I did was send it to Blackfive because I knew he would get it online much faster than I could - I really need to get a fancy-schmancy phone.

My Problem With #OccupyMath

I've got lots of problems with #Occupy & #OccupyBoston. I've written, tweeted & FB'd about it before. But my biggest problem is with their audacity to say they speak for me.

I am not super rich, so I am not the 1%.

Therefore, I am in the other 99%. #Occupy says they represent the 99%. That's pretty damn ballsy.

Hey #Occupy, you speak for yourself and your supporters. Fini.

Your mindless whining and complaining should be no reflection on me.

Also, My Marine was MIA for the season premiere of #WalkingDead......so I am pouting.

#WalkingDead Is Back Tonight!

I almost forgot.

See a clip here.

Now I have to speed up my pace from glacial to just slow.

And the dinner decision has become a focus.....no red sauce.....no rare meat. What to do?

Sleepy Sunday Is Going Just As Planned

The plan for today is chugging along just fine folks. I slept until noon, put on sweats and started laundry. I "swiffered" the hard wood floor and soon I will vacuum.

But my pace is glacial. I stopped to Tweet. Gotta keep up with my #USNavy; #WarOf1812; #Charlestown and other fav topics.

I've been on the go so much lately that it seems, I dump things in this room and can't find them again. I have to update my "go bag".

I stayed up last night for The Military Channel's "Officer and a Movie". It was "PT 109" with the first CO of the USS Samuel B Roberts, FFG58. Captain Paul X. Rinn is an important figure in modern Naval History. I'm guessing it was scheduled this was because the Navy's 236th birthday was this past Thursday. I went to bed before it ended.....but I think I know what happened.

Ok, back to napping and laundry.

Leave suggestions for dinner please

Watch Out! I'm Having An Insta-lange!

Right now - midnight - I am the top post on BlackFive.

Holy Moly!

Attention - I love it!

Let's Celebrate!

My laptop is fully functional again.

I have numbers -
1234567890

I have symbols -
!@#$%^&*()

Thanks to Curt Middlebrook (The Computer Whisperer) who told me what to do step-by-step and emailed me the link to purchase the new keyboard and Steve, the Therap-Ease IT guy who installed it for me.

I'm so happy!!!!

OK, So You Know #OccupyBoston Is Making Me Crazy

You don't need to read the post to know that, huh?

They are allegedly fighting corruption by doing illegal things. Yeah, that makes sense.

They are trying to garner followers by aggravating the very people the purport to represent.

First off, I'm peeved they have no permits, etc., the way any other group would need to have. They are cowing local pols - yeah, I mean you Menino - and blatantly disobeying city regs.

Next, they tie up traffic on North Washington Street bridge and make a commute that is already miserable, more so. You know, for the working people they supposedly represent.

Then they try to expand into other areas, refuse to move, bait police and cry when they get arrested. All forms of stupidity irritate me. You dared them to arrest you....they did....shut up.

How can you make it worse? Well you can cause the cancellation of the Greenway Mobile Food Fest. You know, with my friend TSO's fav food truck, Roxy's Grilled Cheese. I was gonna saunter on over there....it's supposed to be sunny tomorrow, and the Greenway just had all new plantings done. And now it's wrecked by people crying about their student loan debt.

But now, I'm really mad.

"'Occupy Boston' Protesters Spit on Coast Guard"

When I first heard the story on Twitter, it was a rumor and I waited. Then the local Fox affiliate reported it. So I started Tweeting about it.

Then opponents of FoxNews - FauxNews as they call it - and Occupy Boston backers said "No real news outlet is reporting it.

Fine says I..... I can get my own confirmation. So I emailed the PAO over in the North End. This was the reply.

Ms. Miller,

The assault did occur. We do not have an active statement. The Coast Guard member filed a report today with Boston Police Department and we have the utmost confidence in how they handle the situation. I hope this answers any questions you may have.

Best,
Petty Officer 3rd Class Luke Clayton

Still some on Twitter protest that it's not proof. For pity's sake! Take off your tinfoil hat. The Coast Guard has no dog in this fight. Read Admiral Neptun - who I have met - would not let this blossom into a news story if he didn't believe the Coastie involved.

I also told the doubters that I am certainly going to put more stock into the word of a uniformed member of the Coast Guard than I am in the protestations of the lawbreakers on the Rose Kennedy Greenway.

Every Day Something Fun!

Monday Jen, Grace and I went down to the Newport Octoberfest. We were invited by my friend Mike, his lovely wife Paulette. It was also my first chance to meet their daughters.

What fun. Schnitzel, spray on tattoos - mine fooled Frankie for a minute or two - cupcakes......but no strudel!

How does that work???? I am going to file a complaint with the International Commission of Octoberfests.

When I got back to the cottage it was time to Tweet the PBS showing of the "War of 1812". Did you see it? It was great. I saw the sneak peek a few weeks ago and got more out of it the second time.

I can tell you, I fell into bed that night.

Tuesday was my Dr. Miller check-up and finally.....finally.....a white blood cell count in the NORMAL RANGE - 6,300! I celebrated with a venti, vanilla chai tea latte from Starbucks.

I couldn't decide about dinner, so Frankie and I had ziti, meatballs, chicken parm, meat ravioli, garlic bread and garlic broccoli with mozzarella. I was in a carb coma.

Today I had a gift certificate for a facial at an Aveda Salon and it was fabulous! Thank you Val at Tropez Salon in Natick.

Then I took myself to the movies with one of my AMC passes. I saw "50/50". I know, you are thinking "Maggie, why would you do that?" But it was really good and I am all the more grateful than ever for my fabulous support system.

Lastly, it was a visit to my favorite and longtime hairdresser. We went brown, dark brown. It looks so strange to me. I have had white hair for so long. It kinda looks like a hat. But I know that's just me. It's a fabulous dye job. If someone who hasn't seen me in the last ten months saw me, they would only notice my hair was very short. But I am getting there too, one half inch per month.

The parking gods smiled upon me and just as I pulled down the street a great big spot opened up in front of where my Aunt Helen lived when I was young.

Now I am off to bed because I have to get up early to go hang with my pal, Griffen and play with Matchbox cars.

Genevieve Says Papa Shouldn't Be.....

.....funding our deviant behavior.

Saturday night Grace, Jen, Deb and I went to Maxwell's Pub in Ogunquit. We picked it because it was just down the street from our motel. the plan was to have a few drinks and watch the Bruins.

Before we ordered I announced I had forty dollars and a credit card. Grace said she had forty. Deb tried to tell us what she had and we just laughed. Jen said she had forty and our father's credit card. She was supposed to pick something up for him, so she had it on her.

So we get Nicole, our waitress to change one of the many TVs to the Bruins - all the others were on football games. We order drinks and appetizers.

After a bit they start setting up for karaoke right next to us. We get Nicole to move us and change another TV for us.

We had a GREAT time.

At one point I walked outside to talk to My Marine, who was not having nearly as much fun. During the conversation I noticed a candy shop across the street. My mother had mentioned earlier she would have liked a piece of fudge - seaside vacations do that to her I guess. So after I hung up, I went across the street and grabbed some fudge and other things.

So now I didn't have forty dollars.

I drank, don't tell my oncologist. I'm not saying it was a lot, but I was keeping up.

When the bill came, it was steep. So I reached in my pocket for the credit card.

It wasn't there, I had my driver's license..........

We were cracking up laughing, but we had no choice - out came Dad's credit card.

Fast forward to today at his and Debbie's joint birthday party. I came up to him with the money and he waved it away. I tried to explain that we had used his card. He said he knew that and to put the money away.

Genevieve, who couldn't attend "Girl's Weekend" due to other committments piped up -

"Papa you shouldn't be funding their deviant behavior"

Who's a little green with envy, Gen?

Thanks Dad.

Being Forced To Tip

Some restaurants have a policy where they add in a tip for big parties.

This morning we had breakfast at The Wild Blueberry Restaurant in Ogunquit Maine.

The food was excellent, the service was sub par. I was baffled, didn't this guy care about his tip?

Um, no, he just knew his TWENTY PERCENT tip was secure.

I am a good tipper, so are Grace, Jennifer and our mother. This automatic tip business usually backfires with us, since in most circumstances we would give more than what is forced upon us. However, today that was not the case.

I complained to the owner but she just kept repeating he was her best waiter and everyone loved him.

So what, I didn't. I was forced to tip for good service and I didn't receive it.

After our food was delivered and it was awesome, we didn't see him again until he delivered the check. We wanted more napkins, cream and water.....but that was our loss.

So if you go to the place, I recommend that you try the french toast with blueberries.....and only bring four friends, not five. That way the waiter will have to work for his tip and he may well pay attention to you.

Ever Thought About Being a Bone Marrow Donor?

Years ago, long before I was diagnosed, I registered my bone marrow. Now of course, it doesn't matter if I match a dozen people.....no one wants my myeloma filled marrow.

My transplant was an "auto", meaning they took my own myeloma and used it after high dose chemo. But some people can't do "auto", they are "allo"s. They need matches. And sometimes those matches are hard to find.

But tomorrow there will be a drive to register down in Connecticut.

This email is from someone in my support group -
A Young Mother in Our Community is in Need of a Match.

Is the "needle in a haystack" among us at Yale? Help us find out on Monday, October 10th at Slifka Center.

A member of our community - an alumna of the Yale School of Public Health, the spouse of a Yale graduate student, a leader in our Jewish community, and mother of a nine-month-old baby - is searching for a bone marrow transplant match. And Slifka Center is rallying Yale's Jewish Community to help find him or her.

Working with Gift of Life, a nationwide public bone marrow matching organization, we have the opportunity to register 500 potential donors immediately to help her search for a transplant needed in her battle againstacute myelogenous leukemia (AML). It all starts with finding a match.

Please donate: The laboratory fee required for processing each registration is $54, but we have arranged with Gift of Life that up to 500 registrations will be processed immediately without waiting for the fees. We promised Gift of Life that we would ask our community to support this incredible effort with a donation. Please visit Bone Marrow Registration Drive to make a gift of any amount today. 100% of the proceeds from these gifts will go directly to Gift of Life.

Thank you for your compassion.

Grace Is Ranting

We're in Ogunquit at the Seaview Motel. It's on the trolley line, but service is a little sporadic. The six of us; Grace, Jen; Debbie; my Mum; Ruth and myself had a delicious lunch at the Front Porch right in the center.

We had tons of laughs walking through the shops and reading the funny mugs and plaques. Lots of lobster and moose jokes.

The weather is just gorgeous. Of course, no fall foliage yet...I think there was too much rain this summer.

Jen called from the beach and asked if I could pick her and Ruth up. The trolley wasn't coming on schedule and they had bags.

Grace and my mother was in the deck watching me drive away. Two people were walking to the trolley stop to go into town, so I offered them a lift. Very nice couple visiting from England.

Grace saw me.

She is still yelling at me.

New Email Scam

I wouldn't have even opened this except that I drove through New York last Saturday. And I was speeding, lol. Anyway, I was no where near New York in July, so......

But, it was quite well done. I couldn't copy the background, but it was good. No misspellings, etc. If I had been in New York around that day, I might have clicked on the attachment to dispute it.

New York State — Department of Motor Vehicles
UNIFORM TRAFFIC TICKET (ID:11317),
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
POLICE AGENCY
NEW YORK STATE POLICE
Local Police Code 727
THE PERSON DESCRIBED ABOVE IS CHARGED AS FOLLOWS

Time: 7:25 AM
Date of Offense: 07/02/2011
IN VIOLATION OF NYS V AND T LAW



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

031 Description of Violation

SPEED OVER 55 ZONE

TO PLEAD, PRINT OUT THE ENCLOSED TICKET AND SEND IT TO TOWN COURT, CHATAM HALL., PO BOX 117

Took Myself To The Movies Last Night

I have made a huge mistake in this post....I meant to say that I am my SECOND favorite movie date. My apologies and I shall make every effort to be more accurate in the future.

I was down on the South Shore, so I decided to take myself out to the movies. I am my own favorite movie date.....I buy myself popcorn....I never talk....I'm open to a wide variety of movies.

So last night was "The Guard", an Irish comedy with Brendan Gleeson and Don Cheadle. Accents were thick, but I made it through.

I like watching movies at Plimoth Cinema. It isn't expensive, just ten dollars - eight if you spring for the Club Card. Plus they pop fresh popcorn just before each showing.

I'm a fan because it's somewhere nice and clean to see indie or foreign films.

Think She Was Saving For This Trip For Long?

Look, you know I am nutty and that crazy things peeve me. So I am not going to pretend this is all that reasonable to anyone but me.

On my way home to Charlestown, I slowed and entered the lane for paying the toll on the Mystic River Bridge. It's three bucks....way better than the twelve on the George Washington Bridge in New York.

It's a toll. It's a toll bridge. Big signs "Last Exit Before Toll"; "Slow-Pay Toll"; "Have Toll Ready".

I try to have exact change, but I always make sure I have something, right?

There are four or five cars in front of me. Each stops, pays, moves on. But not the woman right in front of me in a Mercedes. Nothing is happening.

Then an arm comes out with a bill.

Then the arm comes out and deposits change into the toll takers hand.

Then more change.

I am incensed - insert the exclamation point that my keyboard still can't type.

There is still a pause while she realizes her right hand turn signal is on and she shuts it off.

I get up to the tollbooth, the toll taker looks like a Townie or a mick from Southie or Dorchester.

I said "Think she was saving for this trip for long?"

He replies "Yeah, I know. Some people have no consideration."

After my quick, efficient transaction, I easily catch the Mercedes and pass her. She was on her cell phone.

Gee lady, sorry our toll caused any interruption to your driving/talking on your cell phone.

Well, It Seems....

....that chocolate therapy was not enough. I know, that seems ridiculous, doesn't it? But sometimes we need more.

No, not for me. But someone close to me is upset, so yesterday, I spent time with them.

We ate chocolate, talked and got stomach aches.

Today, we will move on to weepy movies, I think.

Truth Time...

Well, some truth.

Someone has hurt me. Let me down. I didn't want to see it. I have foolishly internalized it.

And I have suffered where I shouldn't have. And others close to me have suffered needlessly.

I know many of you have seen my recent absences as "cancer/transplant/recovery" related. In truth, they have not been. They have been stress related.

Although most people in my life and in my "blog/online" life have come shining through for me during my battle, not everyone has. One person couldn't bear up under the pressure. One person couldn't take my increased emotional neediness. One person couldn't handle my emotional turbulence.

This person promised to see me through this no matter what.

But..........

This person got........as they put it.........tired.

I couldn't/wouldn't see it.

It was too distressing to think I had put so much faith in this person's love for me and was so terribly, terribly wrong.

There is a recurring theme in my Multiple Myeloma email group - and I supposes it is in all cancer email groups - about people who can't deal with you. Spouses, lovers, friends who can't take some aspect of the battle. And it is a battle. I have shied away from that term because to me it seemed disrespectful to people in the military. But I've changed my mind. Anyway, when I first read those emails from fellow cancer patients about their experiences of loss, I thought "That won't be me." But since the transplant, I have just deleted them without reading them. It was hitting too close.

I felt this person pull away. And I made one excuse after another. Excuses for their stress and their fear and the added burden of my nuttiness.

And believe me, I have been nutty.

I have gone from a self-assured, carefree person to a person I really don't like sometimes.

And I fight it. And I know I will come out the other side.

And that process begins today. I am letting go. I am acknowledging that this person is not who I thought. This person was selfish and cowardly. It's hard to do after eight years of believing otherwise.

But I need to focus on other things. Other things including myself. I have been so stressed about this. I haven't been able to sleep or focus. It's overwhelmed other parts of my life.

No more. This isn't my fault. This wasn't my choice.

Sorry

I know it's like I fell of the face of the Earth!

Between staying at the cottage and now, being in Virginia, life has been chaotic to say the least.

Things are good and I am getting stuff done. More blogging soon, I promise.

Actually, I came upon an unexpected opportunity tonight. My ex's daughter has a school field trip coming up to meet USS Indianapolis survivors. I was floored and begged to come along. We have to check dates, but if there's any way to make it happen, I am going!

What an incredible opportunity.

Also, Curt is helping with my odd laptop problem.....the numbers 1,2,3,4,7,8,9,o and their associated symbols are not working (I am on the hotel computer right now). Do you know how hard it is to do ANYTHING with just the 5 & 6????

I have been keeping up on Twitter.....if you missed me, maybe you should have a Twitter account...I'm just saying. I was making a point out there the other night and said that even though I was a Republican, I was socially liberal. I friend sent me a text after seeing that and said that was like describing Patton as "mildly aggressive". I'm not sure how to take that, lol!

So this computer doesn't have (or I can't figure out) the capability to open multiple windows. So there are no links, etc.

OK, off to do other things, but I will be good from now on....promise.

Is It Too Early To Go To Bed?

I might have overdone today...physically.

I think bedtime will come wicked early tonight.