Today is barely underway, but it is already a long day. I overslept, Frankie and I knocked heads over the laundry. He had a point, nothing I wanted was clean either. Still, he's a jerk. He was late to school, I was late to work. I will have to leave work and go shopping for something to wear tomorrow. Jennifer has just emailed me asking me not to make her go through the line at Carr's alone. Like I would ever, ever do that! Certain coworkers are stepping on my last nerve.
So, I guess I should admit that what is probably bothering me........
Tonight I will go to Carr's Funeral Home and join my family in saying goodbye to the last of my maternal grandmother's siblings. Elizabeth, Sis as we called her, lived a good life and was much loved. She was 85, would have turned 86 later this month. Up until very recently, the last year or so, she led a very vigorous life. She lived independently in her own apartment until her early 80s. Recently her decline was accelerated. When I got the call she was gone on Wednesday, I was relieved for her. She had been placed in a nursing home a month or so ago by her family (the right decision) and I was thinking that this wasn't a bad thing. I have often professed that I want my younger siblings or children or a random stranger to put a pillow over my face if I am even in danger of going to a nursing home. Now, two days later faced with an obituary, I am overwhelmed. To see my grandmother's name in print as well as her brothers and sisters. To realize that they are all gone. To face the fact that I will stand with my mother and her brothers as they say goodbye and know I will face this myself in a few years. Frankie will be with me. By a strange twist of fate Tommy will miss it because he rescheduled his visit to next week. It is enough for me that he is upset about missing it.
Bottom line, today sucks.
****Do not comment unless you have something funny or snide to say! Sympathy will only make me worse!****