Whose Idea Was This?

When did they move Park Street Station 30 blocks further up Tremont?

Who is letting me go out on these adventures unsupervised?

Shouldn't someone tell my parents?

So I get on the Bunker bus and ride to Haymarket. I get on the Green Line to Boylston. It's right across from the AMC Loews. I like this theater. Plus I have passes that I bought on Living Social and AMC's frequent flier card, Stubbs.

This should be a piece of cake, right? Wrong. Boylston is not handicap accessible. No elevator, no escalator. I was dying by the time I got to the top and crossed Tremont.

Have you ever gone out on a cold day and after a few breaths had a pain at the base of your throat? That's what happens to me whenever I exert myself and they can't explain it. It started during chemo and got bad after the transplant. But it faded and by last summer I was doing great. But now it's back. And no one has a clue. Paging Dr. House!

But the theater has escalators and it turns out the two movies I want to see are playing side-by-side. So I was in theater 19 for the 5:55pm showing of "Gone". I liked it. I had my Coke & ice and my smuggled Cadbury mini-eggs and pretzels.

Then at 7:35 I went into theater 18 for the 7:30pm showing of "Act of Valor". I didn't miss anything but a few previews.

Do I have to tell you that I loved it? Of course not! We knew this going in. Everyone I know who has seen has liked it or loved it. Well, except for that assclown Dax Shepard.

So what went wrong? Well between seeing Kate and Dr. Miller today and taking the "T" and sitting through two movies... I was pretty wiped out. And I have this depth perception problem, so I get nervous going downstairs. So, instead of crossing back over to Boylston, I decide to walk up to Park. I crossed Avery, I crossed West, I crossed Temple, I crossed Winter....it felt like miles!

But there was the elevator.

The elevator someone just peed in. My pants were too long to wear with sneakers. So there I was, standing with pant hem in pee. Then I realized I wouldn't make the 9:45 at Haymarket, so I had to walk down the Winter St concourse to the Orange line.....where there were no elevators. I made it to Sullivan where the bus was late. Everything on the "T" tonight is effed up because of an explosion in the Hilton near Mass Ave.

And the thing is, I did it to myself. Why didn't I just walk down Avery to the Chinatown station? I know where that elevator is and it stops at Haymarket & Sullivan. And it's not like I don't know that Park Street is the smelliest, most peed in station. Whenever something smells really bad I say "That's worse than Park Street Station in the summer!"

End result? I was later than I wanted to be and I had to take my sneakers and pants off in the back yard so I didn't slime the kitchen floor.

By the way, can you guess my favorite character in "Act of Valor"?