Help!

Anthony has challenged me to a bet in the post below. He has a cool thing to wager.

"I have several bottles of a honey liquer I make for the holidays. It is based on a 300 year old recipe handed down thorugh my Lithuanian neighbors family. If I lose, I'll humbly send you a few bottles. In addition lets say the loser has to post the flag of the winner's branch of service on their blog for the remainder of the month of December."

I don't have anything unique like this. Regular readers know I am completely without talent and my life is full of nonsense. What can I put up in return?

**NOTE** Anthony is a nice young man who is married and has a young child. He wandered into this blog by way of Op-For. He is decidedly *not* a candidate for the Rotation. So suggestions such as the one made by WereKitten will not help me.

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UPDATE
Blogger will not let me comment on my own damn blog! So here is my reply.
The Rotation is a group of men who vie for my attention with varying degrees of success.
Next, this plea was crossposted over at the Castle and sent out in a blast email.
You are completely correct, my friends both have faith in the Navy and took great pleasure in throwing me under the bus....thump....thump.
So far, my favorite is Ry over at the Castle : "Maggs, he's offering a homey kind of gift. So give something back in return. Either something made out of M&M's glued together with sugar......"
Ry clearly understands the extent of my abilities and where my interests lie.
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The Wager
My first thought was Legal Seafoods. SB & WereKitten seconded the idea....actually SB was pushing for me to wager a whole lobster dinner because he has absolute and complete faith in Navy. I do as well, but I think that's just mean, cause Army is gonna make sure you never get it. I am putting up this.

Stole This......

....from a super secret place and I can't credit it, but.....Thanks Guys!

A young fellow from Oklahoma moves to California and goes to a big "everything under one roof" department store looking for a job.
The manager says, "Do you have any sales experience ?"
The kid says, "Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Oklahoma." Well, the boss liked the kid so he gave him the job. "You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did "
His first day on the job was rough but he got through it.
After the store was locked up, the boss came down. "How many sales did you make today?"
The kid says, "One."
The boss says, "Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day. You're going to have to improve considerably or look for another job! How much was the sale for?"
The kid says, "$112,237.64."
The boss says, "$112,237.64 ! What the hell did you sell ?"
Kid says, "First I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium fish hook. Then I sold him a larger fish hook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down at the lake, so I told him he was gonna need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a new bass boat. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that new Ford pick-up. I asked him how long he was going to be out at the lake and after he said 5 or 6 days I took him down to the RV department and sold him a slide-in camper for the truck."
The boss said, "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat, a truck and a camper?"
Kid says, "No, he came in here to buy a box of tampons for his wife and I said, 'Well, your weekend's shot, you might as well go fishing.

Tomorrow's Army-Navy Game

Navy jets doing game flyover will be rooting for Army
By JACK DORSEY, The Virginian-Pilot

VIRGINIA BEACH — Two of the four Navy F/A-18 jet pilots performing a ceremonial flyover for the start of Saturday’s Army-Navy game in Philadelphia will be rooting for the Army.
Blasphemy?
What’s more, they’ll be wearing West Point class rings.
A sacrilege?
The pilots – who claim they bleed Army green beneath their Navy uniforms – are Lt. Cmdr. Paul Campagna and Lt. Cmdr. Bobby Baker of Strike Fighter Squadron 86 out of Beaufort, S.C.
Flying alongside them will be Lt. Cmdr. Mike Amos and Cmdr. Sara Joyner, executive officer, of Strike Fighter Squadron 105 based at Oceana Naval Air Station here.
Amos and Joyner will be wearing their Naval Academy rings, Class of 1993 and 1989 respectively.
Their allegiance is unquestionable.
As for Baker and Campagna, “we’re definitely wearing Army class rings,” Baker said Thursday.
“That is where we went to school. We’re proud of the fact we are West Pointers. … We are Army at heart.”
Campagna and Baker were originally Army helicopter pilots but switched services when the Army began getting rid of some older aircraft and the Navy was having a pilot shortage, Baker said.
They had never flown airplanes, so they went through Navy flight school in Pensacola, Fla.
Amos said the four have become great friends. Baker was once assigned to VFA-105 as well.
“They might be the only two Army pilots flying Navy F-18s,” Amos said.
“Ends up being an honor to do this. What makes it special is to have a couple of Army guys flying Navy jets. I hope irony is not lost on that.”
All four pilots are scheduled to fly over Lincoln Financial Field at exactly 2:31 plus 30 seconds.
They will land at Willow Grove, Pa., about 20 miles away, then will drive to the football field.
They hope to arrive by halftime.
“Given a choice, we’d like to sit on the Army side,” Baker said.
But he’s seen before what cadets do to a midshipman who sits on the wrong side.
“They don’t just take his hat. They take the whole midshipman. I think we’ll sit in the press box.”

My allegience is unquestionable.
GO NAVY!

Uncle Jimbo 'Splains It All

This morning as I was getting ready for work and sparring with someone in email, I was listening to FoxNews (there's a wicked shocka). They had a story about "W" explaining his thoughts on "graceful exits".
"I know there's a lot of speculation that these reports in Washington mean there's going to be some kind of graceful exit out of Iraq," he said. "This business about a graceful exit just simply has no realism to it at all."
I was very heartened. They had Bill Kristol on for color and he was also bouyed. Then I pop over to BlackFive and Uncle Jimbo put it all very well.

By Request

The lovely Emma Peel (ArmyWifeToddlerMom) has asked us all to post recipes for cookies, etc. on our blogs. Maybe this will take my mind off that boob, Webb. Surprisingly (dripping sarcasm) I am not one to have recipes, per se, hanging around. I'm kind of a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kinda girl. So here you go.

Cookie pizza

Take Pillsbury Sugar Cookie dough or a sugar cookie recipe that you like (I've done it both ways) and spread it over a pizza pan. Bake just short of being done, about 12 minutes out of 17. Sprinkle with chocolate chips or Hershey Kissables or M&M bits for a chocolate layer. Then sprinkle with chopped walnuts or pecans for a nut layer. Next a layer of plain or colored mini-marshmallows. Don't go wild, you should see dough through all this and don't go to the edge, you want a "crust". Lastly, drizzle with Smuckers caramel ice cream topping. Pop it back in the oven to finish baking. After it cools, cut into pizza slices.

Hey FbL - Valour-It fundraiser idea for the next MilBlog Conference - Bakeoff? Or are we sticking with The Castle Kissing Booth?

Jim Webb is a Boob!

Wow, I am so impressed with Jim Webb....he knows how to be rude. That's so cool. Did he spin his tires leaving the parking lot too? The Washington Post publised an article about a White House reception for freshman congressmen and Senator Webb's boorish behavior.

At a recent White House reception for freshman members of Congress, Virginia's newest senator tried to avoid President Bush. Democrat James Webb declined to stand in a presidential receiving line or to have his picture taken with the man he had often criticized on the stump this fall. But it wasn't long before Bush found him.
"How's your boy?" Bush asked, referring to Webb's son, a Marine serving in Iraq.
"I'd like to get them out of Iraq, Mr. President," Webb responded, echoing a campaign theme.
"That's not what I asked you," Bush said. "How's your boy?"
"That's between me and my boy, Mr. President," Webb said coldly, ending the conversation on the State Floor of the East Wing of the White House.

Wow! What a guy! It brings to mind a thousand "B" movie teenage thugs who needlessly get up in someone's face and think their lack of civility makes them tough. We are always hearing that back in the days of the Tip O'Neill congress (and before) things were more civil between the two parties. Next time someone mentions that, I will point to Webb.

"I'm not particularly interested in having a picture of me and George W. Bush on my wall," Webb said in an interview yesterday in which he confirmed the exchange between him and Bush. "No offense to the institution of the presidency, and I'm certainly looking forward to working with him and his administration"

Good luck with that! I would freeze you out so hard and so fast your head would spin, bubba! But then again....no one holds a grudge like me.

"There are going to be times when I've got some strong ideas, but I'm not looking to simply be a renegade," he said. "I think people in the Democratic Party leadership have already begun to understand that I know how to work inside a structure."

Obviously that structure is not the White House or any other place civilized people gather for mature discourse.

Virginia Gov. Timothy M. Kaine (D), who campaigned hard to get Webb elected, said yesterday that the first-time officeholder doesn't have the finesse of most experienced politicians. "He is not a backslapper," Kaine said. "There are different models that succeed in politics. There's the hail-fellow-well-met model of backslapping. That's not his style."
But Kaine said that Webb's background, including a stint as Ronald Reagan's Navy secretary, will make him an important -- if unpredictable -- voice on the war in Iraq.
"There are no senators who have that everyday anxiety that he has as a dad with a youngster on the front lines. That gives him gravitas and credibility on this issue," Kaine said.

That's not a lack of finesse Gov. Kaine, it's behavior calculated to get attention. And anxiety does not give you *gravitas*. And this wasn't gravitas, it was bad manners. Criminy, if you put any more spin on that, I'd check your hands for a banned substance.

They are debating it over at The Castle. Imagine, someone is actually finding excuses for Webb's immature behavior!

I am really, really pissed off.

Army-Navy

In 1890, the first Army-Navy football game was played with Navy winning, 24-0.

Guess who I'm rooting for this Saturday?

Deja Vu

Jen and I hit the movies tonight. "Deja Vu" with Denzel. Two thumbs up.

This Day In History

In 1942, a fire at the Cocoanut Grove nightclub in Boston killed 491 people. Most victims suffocated or were trampled to death.

Many of the modern fire safety codes are the direct result of lessons learned in this fire.

Most Bostonians knew someone who was there or was supposed to be there because it was such a wildly popular place. My uncle, a Marine home on leave, was killed in the fire after making sure his party was safely outside and going back in. I have passed down this story to my children, nieces and nephews. I try to point out when we are near revolving doors that the regular doors flanking them are the result of a tragic lesson learned that night.

Recognition

Over at the Castle, the Armorer posts about the new "Shed of Argghhh!".

beth briefed on November 26, 2006 05:52 PM
John did the bestest job ever erecting this structure!!!!
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John of Argghhh! briefed on November 26, 2006 05:54 PM
She hired me for my erec@#$@^ BZzzt-Kapow!
Ouch! The PG-17c obviously is fully charged!
[smell of singed flesh]
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WereKitten briefed on November 26, 2006 05:57 PM
dang.John beat me to my own snark... but at least I wasn't the one beating off the PG17C this time!
(and judging by the arthritis issue, I'm guessing that's the only beating off that took place today)
*WAP*
DOH!
got me... that thing has LOOOOOONG arms!
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Bad Cat Robot briefed on November 26, 2006 08:08 PM
Excellent. The high-mileage hydraulic fluid, the Extendo-Arms, and the Known Offender priority filter are working as planned. Bwahahaha!
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Maggie briefed on November 26, 2006 09:22 PM
Congratulations! Have you christened it yet?
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John of Argghhh! briefed on November 27, 2006 06:23 AM
.....As for naming it, Outbuilding of Argghhh! works for me, but I'll let SWWBO take on naming honors. This is her project. Without her vision and ability to make me work through pain, it never would have happened.
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WereKitten briefed on November 27, 2006 07:32 AM
I'm on the "Known Offender Priority List"??
HOT GOLLY!I made the list!I made the list!I made the list!
(heh. it's a lot better than making Mr. Black's fashion don't list)
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Maggie briefed on November 27, 2006 08:46 AM
BCR - Did I make that list?
WK - I am jealous.
Armorer - Christening does not mean naming. Geez!
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John of Argghhh! briefed on November 27, 2006 09:11 AM
Maggie - I'm well aware of what you meant. I'm just heedful of the PG-17c.
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bad cat robot briefed on November 27, 2006 10:33 AM
Maggie, of course you are on the list. Actually there are several linked lists in a database, one for each type of bad behavior, and I see you are in the "Innuendo", "Corrupting General Morals", and "Suggestive Chitchat" tables. There's even a "usual suspects" one for general hard cases, for example. BillT heads that list.
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Maggie briefed on November 27, 2006 10:46 AM
"Corrupting General Morals"
I would like to thank the Academy for this great honor..........
Now I want to corrupt the morals of a General. If I can just get MG Rick Lynch, 3rd ID to notice me!
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Finally.....all my hard work.....long nights polishing my craft.....honing my talents......it has finally paid off! I am recognized as the tacky little strumpet I am!

Sarcasm

I got this email from Nic's dad, Fred.

Dear Senator Sarbanes,

As a native Marylander and excellent customer of the Internal RevenueService, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted theDepartment of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the processfor becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.
My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen toillegal alien stem from the bill which was recently passed by the Senateand for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's provisionsis accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fineand income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good dealwhen I see one and I am anxious to get the process started beforeeveryone figures it out.
Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxesevery year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years oftaxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent resultfor me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.
Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the localemergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stoppedpaying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year. Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relativeto her law school applications, as well as "in-state" tuition rates formany colleges throughout the United States for my son.
Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burdenof renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome carinsurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college age children driving my car.
If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.

Your Loyal Constituent,

My Weekend

After work yesterday, I headed down to Jen's to bundle up on the couch (she keeps the heat at 61, I'm not kidding). We decided to watch some of the episodes of "The Battle for Rome" that she has been recording off of the Discovery Channel. One of the previews showed Hannibal and his elephants. She turns to me and asks "How did they make the elephants go where they wanted?" I stared at her, incredulous! We burst out laughing and I answered "Well back when I was wrangling elephants on the farm....". More laughing. "How the hell would I know! That's why we watch the Discovery Channel" She still thinks it's a legitamate question to ask of me because they were riding them into battle. Anyway, so far we are not impressed. We like the way the History Channel does these things. There was too much acting and not enough history. Not enough 'both sides of the story' analysis. The hour on Nero started off just after the burning of Rome with no background on his mother and dwelt a little too much on the lurid aspects of his madness. Kind of a Lifetime version of Nero's life. But we have several episodes to go, maybe it gets better. We also have them recorded out of order, Nero's episode was before Tiberius.

This morning despite my plan to go to work, I ended up heading to breakfast with Jennifer and running errands. I have to wrap the favors for our family's Christmas party in two week, so we ended up in Michael's. I was waaaayyyyy out of my element. I am the least crafty person you will ever meet. People thought it was strange that I liked Martha Stewart but she could show even people like me how to do things. I like the end results. Anyway, we had breakfast at the favorite pancake place and the people at the next table were discussing someplace they were meeting friends. The Ansel Gurney House. They talked about it so much, we looked it up online. I think it will be a good place to incorporate on Girl's Weekend next fall. Jen and I were discussing the lack of focus on China and how she doesn't understand why they hate us. She understands why the Muslims hate us. I was explaining about a really interesting article that the Atlantic published on North Korea and the tensions in that region. Bottom line, we have to win the lottery so we can spend everyday reading and taking classes and attending lectures. We are going to start adding horticultural things too. Jen wants to learn more about her roses and stuff in her yard. I used to be more into that before my yard became a teen hangout. Now I'm happy when there's a parking spot for me and they pick up the trash. Maybe in a few years I can resurrect the garden.

Frankie came down to weedwhack around the rose bushes and Bill put down her winterizer. It was a total hit-and-run visit, they left Andrea in the car, with the car running. I love my boys.

Today In History

November 25, 1963

Col. David Hunt

Col. Hunt is my sister's favorite army guy (mine is MG Rick Lynch, in case you forgot). He was the guest host on the Howie Carr show (WRKO) today. He is a howl. So, anyway, he gets on the crazy "Global Orgasm for Peace" thing and I called. First off, he couldn't say my name. How can you mispronounce Maggie? He kept saying it with a soft G, like DiMaggio. So, I laugh and say "Maggie"and I pitch him my "Orgasm for Victory" alternative. I tell him we have to "Be Sweet to the Fleet!" He laughs and keeps asking how they are going to measure their reaction in the Global Orgasm for Peace" camp. I tell him "We don't care. They are long haired, rope-smokin' Kerry voters!". He replies "Oh Moonbats?". "Yes" I tell him. I remind him that we met at the Milbloggers conference and this story is all over the blogs. You know he blogs, right? Then I harrassed him because he is always mentioning that he lives in Maine and is from Scituate. I asked why he never mentions Charlestown. He yells "My father is from Charlestown!" I tell him I know and that means he is from Charlestown, that's where his people are from. LOL Jeez! A few minutes later he mentions my "Orgasm for Victory Day" again.

Come on people! Practice, practice, practice!

Happy Thanksgiving

I will travel to my parent's house today. Yes, they are still taking care of me, lol! I will see all of my immediate family except for Tom who is in Viriginia. I am thankful for many things, chief among them, my family. I am reminded day in and day out how very lucky I am to have them. I am also grateful for my extended family, friends, and my blog family (as Andi put it over at FbL's place). I am grateful for SB and how he looks at me (was that sweet enough?). I am also grateful for those who are away from their families today because they service. Every holiday Father Mahoney would remind us to pray for those who serve. For those who set aside their own comfort to protect me.....police.....firefighters.....ER personnel.......and member of the US military.

Have a wonderful day.

The Day In History

In 1963, U.S. President John F. Kennedy, 46 and in the third year of his first term, was assassinated during a motorcade in Dallas.

I know other stuff happened. But none of it really mattered. I was a toddler, but I know from family stories that my mother was bringing Grace and I home from our grandmother's house. As she walked through Monument Square, pushing Grace in a carriage, she heard the news from a radio playing in a house she was passing. It wouldn't have been warm enough to normally have your windows open, so that person must have done it simply for people to hear the tragic news.

My whole life, this is all this day has ever meant to me. If you grew up in Boston, much less Charlestown, especially educated by nuns.......there was nothing else that mattered.

Marne Week

Marne Week is a 3 day event celebrating the 3rd Infantry Division's 89th birthday. This year it runs 20 NOV 2006 through 22 NOV 2006. Here is a message from the 3rd ID's Commanding General.

And who is the CG of the 3rd ID.................................why it's......................RICK!

Here's Rick discussing how the division is preparing for future combat deployments.

Be Sweet To The Fleet!!!

An anonymous commenter in the post below suggests that we should be "Sweet to The Fleet!".

SB, wanna grade me on this?

Orgasm for Victory Day

Ok, over at the Castle, JimB has something in the H&I Fires comments for 20 NOV 2006 that is making me crazy. These people are organizing a GlobalOrgasm. Ok, on the face of this, it sounds good. But no…..it’s a peacenik thing. These people (granolas, as my sister calls them) aren’t going to be happy until normal people have nothing left. No firearms, no smoking, no transfats…….now they want to interfere with my orgasms! I will not think about World Peace and they can’t make me. First off, it’s just silly. An orgasm is explosive thing, not a peaceful meditative thing as Ms. Sheehan states. Second, I can’t think of anything that would kill the deal faster than thinking of a woman named Sheehan. As Bosquisucio says “Sorry folks, but if Mrs. Sheehan is in the middle of that pile, my missiles won’t **er** launch.” Next, if you are achieving this orgasm with the assistance/thought of a man who blows things up, shoots things, drops out of airplanes, chases bad guys across the water with a fast ship it probably negates the whole deal. Like marrying a democrat, you cancel each other out.
So instead, I propose “Orgasm for Victory Day”. On December 22, 2006, when all the smelly, long-haired, rope-smoking, Birkenstock-wearing, moonbat, John Kerry supporting hippies are having their peaceful, blank, meditative state………..I propose that you cause and/or share an orgasm with a sailor, soldier, airmen, marine or veteran of the U.S. Military. Their website focuses on fleet buildup in the Persian Gulf, so please pay special attention to sailors and marines. To be sure that you achieve the best possible orgasm, please practice as much as possible in anticipation of the big day. The organizers believe that their movement can have global consequences. I want global movement, as in earth-shaking!!!!

Saturday Night.....

......was a huge success!!!!! Everyone, especially Jennifer had an excellent time. We started with dinner at the Warren Tavern and a birthday cake from Lyndell's Bakery. Jennifer's favorite cookie is the almond disk. I expected 20 people for dinner, so when ordering the cake I opted for the one that would feed 24 to 30 people.......is the word you are looking for "overblown"? LOL Then I asked that they decorate it with almond disks. It took a a few tries to convince them I was serious. It was a big, heavy cake surrounded and topped with two dozen almond disks. Jennifer loved it!! After dinner and drinks we decamped, via 3 cabs, to a dive in Somerville where we just took over. We commandeered several tables between the dance floor and the bathroom. It was perfect. We had fun until closing. Several of us had rooms at the Constitution Inn in the Navy Yard.

I actually managed to get up for CCD!! I impressed myself! On the way back I stopped at the supermarket for bottled water, and muffins. Then it was on to Dunkin' for coffee, tea and bagels. There was no late checkout, so we breakfasted in the middle of the lobby.

When everyone was gone except Jen & I we went wandering around the Navy Yard. A trip through the USS Constitution Museum revealed many interesting things. Not the least of which was that Patrick Otton had certain facts wrong about the 1992-1995 renovation. The knees of the ship were never made of southern live oak, they were made from white oak, so the restoration was historically accurate. Mr. Otton stated that they were white oak despite his best efforts to secure southern live oak from private citizens and mayors of small towns down south. I knew that story was fishy, it's well known that the US Navy maintains the largest tract of southern live oak.

Jen and I laughed every time we passed a plaque attributing a contribution or loan from the Naval Historical Center. Mr. Otton asserted that the US Navy "doesn't care about history, they only care about fighting wars". Yeah, right.

After that we crashed Grace's afternoon plans armed with pizza from Polcari's. They wouldn't go with me to see "The Green Square Mile", so I told them that they had to buy it for me.