I Am Awake......

.....and showered and properly medicated.

Ahead of schedule.  This month's trip was so bad that I estimated that this would not happen until Sunday night.  You know, in time to catch the 4th episode of "Fear The Walking Dead".

Besides Pomalyst, every other month I get an Aredia infusion.  On those months, I am even more disorganized and confused.  I should not try anything ambitious during that time.

This was an infusion month.  And yes, I tried something ambitious.  And yes, it was much harder than it needed to be.

The next infusion is November 22nd.  If someone would be kind enough on November 18th as to tell me not to schedule anything else until November 25th, I would appreciate it.

My time in Virginia as more than a visitor is nearly at an end.  I think my eagerness to end it, is causing these bad decisions......yeah, that's my latest excuse.

I joke about "never winning with the 50/50 questions" but really, that's very true.  If I am faced with an either/or situation, I almost always blow it.  This happens if the question is high stakes or of no consequence at all.

And I do a lot of "counting my chickens before they are hatched".  I always have.  I am constantly making plans based on things happening in a certain way.  Things I have no control over.  And there really are things I have no control over.  I, Princess Crabby, the Empress of the Moat, she who has no equal, Princesa Malhumorada have very little control over things in real life, as opposed to what happens in my imagination.  This really messes me up!

When I go to infusion it's supposed to go like this - I check in and they take my vitals, put me in an infusion room, take a couple of vials of blood and send it off for testing.  They can't give you Aredia if certain things aren't stable.  Plus, with a blood cancer.....there is lots of blood tests.  Makes sense, right?  Then the numbers come back in thirty or forty minutes and they send to the in-hospital pharmacy for the Aredia.  It can't be ordered without the test results.  Pharmacy sends the IV bags up, they hook it up and attach me ( I already have an IV in my hand or arm from the testing) and from that point, it takes one hundred and twenty minutes.  There is a product that is faster, Zometa, but I tried it and had a crazy flu-like reaction.  So, being reasonable (not my strong suit, but I can be) this process should take a little over three hours.  When I have nothing to do after an appointment, it takes about three hours.  But if I schedule anything for afterwards....it can take (and has taken), six or more hours. I should not plan anything for afterwards... yet I do.

Because I never learn!

Thursday, I wanted to go look at an apartment in the evening.  And, I planned to fly from Boston to BWI at 5:50 am on Friday morning.  I chose that flight to save money and be in DC for the train to Staunton, which only runs on Friday, Sunday & Wednesday.  I wanted to hurry back out of Boston because my monthly visit there causes me to spend an inordinate amount of money.  Once I actually have a place of my own to live back in Boston, this won't happen.  So, in order to save, I decided this month would be a "get in/get out" month.  No visits, no family time, no dinner with friends.  In.  Out.

Getting in was no problem.

I was scheduled for a 2pm appointment and I had scripts to fill.  So I called and asked if I could be moved up and was offered 1pm.  I went in that morning and picked up the prescriptions, so I could check that off the list.  Usually I wander around and get lunch while the blood is being tested.  This can make the process longer because sometimes I am not back when the IV bags come up.  But instead I went and got lunch before I went to the appointment.  I arrived, fully prepared; lunch, books, snacks, water, charger, everything so I could sit and not move, at 12:45pm for my 1pm appointment.

Is My Marine paying attention?  Early and fully prepared.

I didn't leave until 5:45pm.

And I am always groggy after infusion because the majority of this time I am sitting in a geri chair, in a room that is too warm for me.  So I doze.  I am not a napping person.  Naps don't help me and they make me....CRABBY!

Now, at this point I could have cancelled the 5:50 am Friday morning flight and stayed until Sunday when there would be another train to Staunton.

This was my "50/50" decision.  And I blew it.

I didn't look at an apartment.  I didn't cancel the flight.  I was like a zombie at Logan, BWI and then Union Station.  I was nauseous on the plane.  I fell asleep last night without a proper meal or the right pills at the right times.  That's why I predicted that I would not surface until Sunday.

So, don't ask me to do anything November 22nd.  And don't let me plan anything for November 22nd.