This will be a little cryptic. Sorry about that.
Today, I had to go somewhere and stand for....I don't know.....5 minutes. This was after some walking. Grace didn't want me to do it. She is against all exertion until after I see the endocrinologist.
Oh yeah, did I tell you? They think I have hyperthyroidism. Kate told me and I laughed. People with myeloma experience weight loss. Not me. People with anemia experience weight loss. not me. People on chemo experience weight loss. Not me. People with hyperthyroidism experience weight loss. Not me. It makes me wonder...if I didn't have these medical problems....would I be 500 pounds????
My oncology team says it's unrelated to the cancer; the chemo, or the transplant. So, why? How? Who knows. But it means that most of the time I shake. People who know me are saying right now "But you've always had a tremor". Yeah, but this is ridiculous. I shake all over and have vertigo. If they are right, they think a specialist can solve it either with medication or radiating my thyroid (which sounds awful). But I can't wait for them to fix it. People are always looking at me. Telling me to slow down. Or calm down. But it's not nerves or upset, it's just minor exertion that brings it on.
So I go. Luckily I wasn't alone. My Frankie and my good friend Bette took me. I can't drive anymore.
Jen & Grace had to go to the funeral of our cousin's grandmother, which is actually where I should have been.
It was sooooo embarrassing. I nearly collapsed. The trembling was so bad. Then the room got all murky and shaky. People came up to me, helped me to my seat. Gave me water - which was a great idea, lol. And I was able to pull myself together a little.
Frankie & Bette made me laugh afterwards. I am so grateful for their support.
Should I have gone? Was Grace right?
A great man once said "Never give up. Never give in." Some things matter.
OH hell, Maggie. Not good. I hope they'll be able to figure this out. Is it a drug side effect? You know, maybe you're that 1/500th that the combination of drugs gives the shakes?
ReplyDeleteThoughts are with you. I might have to go console myself with a Jesus Cake.
Nope, it's not medication related. it is it's own ridiculous thing.
ReplyDeleteI still have pastry from Tuesday....not Jesus Cake though - bad girl!
W.T.F.? I'm getting really, really ticked on your behalf.
ReplyDeleteWell, hell -- from someone fighting the stuff that happens that no one understands.....
ReplyDeleteMaggie! {{{hugs}}} Two of my sisters have had this. Graves disease was what one had... the other had a tumor on her thyroid and hyperthyroidism with the shaking hands. They either nuke the thyroid which means you stay away from people and animals for 3 days while you glow in the dark. Or they remove it surgically. Which leaves a scar... big whoop. Then they find the right dosage of thyroid meds to mimic what your body no longer produces. They're doing much better now. And so will you!
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ReplyDeleteThank you so much.
ReplyDeleteoops sorry for double posting. keep which one you prefer...
ReplyDeleteMaggie I am also a cancer survivor. Had mastectomy in 1984 and another in 2008. Also 13 mo of chemo and 6 wks of radiation and cobalt. Right after the first bout I ended up with hypothyroidism so have to take med for that the rest of my life. Then after the second mastectomy I inherited very nervous shakes. Sometimes my writing looks like a 100 yr old. But I am still alive so feel very Blessed and happy to be here. God Bless you and stay strong!
ReplyDeleteGeez, Maggie! Hope they get it nailed down soon - that sucks :-(
ReplyDeleteToday was much better. For many reasons. But you guys and your support was part of it. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteThank you very much !
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