I Am Very Lucky

Jen & our cousin Chrissie have a gang of friends. They have been tight since grade school. They still get together every six weeks or so for dinner or a movie, etc. I have attended several of these gatherings. I have honorary status because when they were in their mid teens and I was newly married they would spend weekends at my house. I hosted many sleepovers and these girls have long memories.

I hadn't realized how long.

Some of you know because you have been reading along that I am facing some medical issues. One side effect of that is some financial discomfort. I have never been the ant, I have always been the grasshopper. I am not whining, it's just a fact. I've had a good time. If I had a few extra bucks, I would attend a lecture, buy a book, go out to dinner rather than put it in a savings account. I've always been a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants girl. Long range plans were never my strong suit. As a consequence, I have no savings, a mortgage that I barely make, no short term disability insurance. So here I am facing a ton of time out of work, copays for visits and medications, etc. On the other hand I have good health insurance, a great boss and a supportive family.

When the prospect of a bone marrow transplant was first brought up, I dismissed it out of hand. My cousin Chrissie rightly deduced I was dismissing it soley due to financial considerations. She was right. I am not afraid of the cancer, far from it. I am not afraid of the bone marrow transplant. But I am afraid of three months out of work. I am afraid of losing my house.

Chrissie went to three of the others and told them this.

Last night we met to go to see the new DiNiro/Pacino movie. Afterwards we stood in the lobby talking about the movie and kids and life. You know the drill. Finally it was time to say goodnight. Chrissie handed me a card and told me to "Read it later." I laughed and asked if it was a "Happy Cancer card". Yeah, I'm pretty fresh. She waved me off. Jen and I drove home.

I waited until I got to my own driveway to open the card. You know, just in case Chrissie happened to write anything that might penetrate my teeny-tiny black heart.

Well, it wasn't too mushy. It had the USS Constitution on the front and a few heartfelt lines about keeping me in their thoughts and prayers written inside. There was something else. I thought it was a prayer card. But it was not.

It was a check for a considerable sum of money. I was astonished.

I haven't talked about it too much, but the trip to Vegas has been making me feel so guilty. I had arranged and paid for it before I got my diagnosis. Of course it was all non-refundable. So I felt bad about having spent money that would be better spent on copays and covering time out of work. I hadn't realized how tense I was about it until I saw that check and physically felt the tension drain out of me.

Chrissie, Stephanie, Amy and Christine - I always had/have a good time with you. But today more than ever I am glad I made all those batches of cookies and bowls of popcorn, lol. Thank you. I appreciate you all more than I can ever say.

I am very lucky.